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WARNING: the following story/fanfiction is not entirely canon although i do try and represent the myth accurately, don't harass or make assumptions about the myth since this is litteraly an ironic book porno with spooky people.
HHrtrreb ik i should be doing the other requests, also its rlly short cuz my motivation is -1000 atm
Whoever the fucks p.o.v
AscendentOne and Spimp stumble home after drinking vodka and running over kids, as they pass thru the hallway spimp pushes ascendent against the wall and traps him in his arms.
He gives ascendent a dirty look and smashes his lips against ascendents. After awhile spimp stops and makes his way down to ascendents neck, leaving hickeys to show that ascendent is his. he trails his hands down ascendents waist, taking his shirt off and makes his way to ascendents belt, unbuckling his belt and sliding ascendents pants off leaving him with his boxers.
Spimp steps back and undresses himself completely, showing off his throbbing cock. Ascendent looks at it and bites his lip over how big it is (according to spimp he has a big ass dick so yeaaa). Spimp then pulls ascendents underwear off and picks him up, wrapping ascendents legs around his waist. "You ready~" spimp whispers into ascendents ear, ascendent nods nervously and spimp thrusts into him. Ascendent arches his back and moans uncontrollably as spimp picks up the pace. Spimp then jerks ascendent off for awhile, sending him into bure bliss as he cums. Spimps thrusts get sloppy as he cums not long after ascendent. (In reality they'd be fukn for ages but im to braindead to add more)
Ascendent drops to the floor feeling weak. Spimp picks him up gently and lays in bed, placing ascendent ontop of him and sroking his head lightly as they fall asleep.
~9 months later~ AscendentOne comes out of the bathroom screaming in pain and stumbles to the table where spimp was eating.
Ascendent: "MY FUCKING WATER BROKE"
Spimp: "wait WHAT, HOW"
ascendent: "I THINK IM PREGNANT"
Spimp: "i thought you were just fat-"
Ascendent"wh-"
Spimp "AAAAAAAAAAA"
Ascendent: "AAAAAAAAAAA"
Thry both scream as ascendent drops to the floor. Spimp gets down and holds ascendents hand as ascendent somehow shits out the baby. After an hour of confused screaching and pushing ascendent finally delivers the baby, holding it in his arms as spimp almost passes out.
Chikpi: "*kicks down the door* the fuck is going on"
Spimp: "well, uh.. ascendentOne had a baby?"
Chikpi: "can we eat it >:)"
Spimp: "fuck off"
Chikpi: "ok then yeet *leaves*"
Ascendent: "welp it's a boy"
Spimp: "lets call himmm.. kazdam!"
Ascendent: "shitty name but ok"
Spimp: "and your called fucking ascendentOne"
Ascendent: "atleast i dont have a name that sounds like shrimp"
Spimp: "shut"
Spimp and AscendentOne then took care of their child kazdam that grows up to be a disappointment
