Say It

six

sunday evening | san fran

—

   I watched as Jace moved around in the kitchen, still dressed in his FedEx work clothes. Every once and a while, he'd look up at me and smile that made me want to cancel dinner.

I guess you can call Jace the average working man in America. He worked a decent job, made a decent living, and still went to school. In more ways than none, I admired him.

   He never complained and it made me seem like a spoiled brat. Here I had everything and I still wasn't grateful.

The sound of music forced me out of my trance. Jace was bobbing his head and rapping along to Ice Cube. I decided to get up and be a bother.

I walked around the couch, and into the kitchen. He looked up and seemed to be a little concerned.

"What's wrong?" He asked after cutting down the music.

I shook my head. "Nothing, just being nosey."

He leaned on the counter, folding his arms across his chest. "So, what'd you wanna talk about?"

   "Right to it, huh?"

Jace nodded, before turning the music off completely. "I hate not knowing things."

   I shrugged a little. "Everyone says I need to give us a chance."

"What about you?" He looked at me.

    "I guess I feel the same way." I cringed at my own choice of words.

Jace scratches his head. "Nah, I can't survive a love that guesses. I need a love that's sure of itself."

   He finished cooking, turning away from me and I shook my head at myself. "You're right, that's not how I wanted to say it."

He ignored me and continued doing what he was doing. "Jace." I called.

   Jace briefly glanced at me. "I'm givin' you time to get ya thoughts together. Food's ready."

After that, he disappeared down the hall to his bedroom. I sighed, running my hand down my face. Not sure when I got terrible at saying what I felt but here I was.

   I heard the shower and chewed on my bottom lip in deep thought before walking to his room. His bathroom door was closed which meant that he was in the shower.

I wrestled with the idea of joining him, but I figured he wanted his space. I went back into the kitchen, fixed his plate and placed it into the oven before fixing my own.

   Maybe food would help me out. While he showered, I ate and mulled over my thoughts. Did I really want to be in a committed relationship?

Was I stable, emotionally, for one?

    I wasn't sure, but I also knew that I had feelings for Jace. There was no denying them now. They were there.

But, he deserved someone who was sure 100%. As he said.

    This spaghetti was the bomb dot com by the way.