Say It

fourteen

monday night | san fran

—

I could feel Jace's eyes on me as we sat on a hill, staring at the tall buildings and beautiful lights of downtown San Francisco. It was quiet, nothing but the sounds of nature in the background. With his arms around me, I felt peace.

"Are you sure you don't wanna go check up on ya friends?" He asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.

I shook my head. "I reached out. I know this was so sudden for them. They'll respond when they're ready."

"Okay, you good though?"

I sighed softly. "I'm okay. Malia was someone I'd looked up to. She taught me alot. She was a great teacher, mother, grandmother, wife, sister, aunt, and friend. I'm going to miss her."

Jace squeezed my hand. "You not gon' shut me out right?"

"No, Jace."

"Okay, okay." He conceded. "I'm just askin'. Just wanna be there for you."

I looked back at him. "I know. I'm okay, though. Let's talk about your obsession with plays. Who would have thought?" I smirked.

He laughed a little. "My mom got me into them. We'd go see a play every weekend. Just ways to keep me out the streets, I guess. It worked."

"Your mom sounds amazing."

Jace looked down at me. "Yea, you gotta meet her."

"Hmm," I hummed. "You sure your mom wants to meet a spoiled celebrity child?" I joked.

"She'll love you. I mean she a lil hard, but that's because she loves her baby." He smirked at me. "She don't play about me."

"I bet."

Jace sighed a little. "It's kinda hard tryna focus on school and shit. I just be wanting to spend time with her."

"I'm sure she understands, Jace. This is what she worked for. For you to go to school and stay out of trouble." I explained.

"Yea I know." He said.

"Can I ask you something?"

Jace shrugged. "Anything."

I turned to look at him. "Do you remember much about your Dad?"

"I don't mind tellin' you, but why you interested all of a sudden?" He asked curiously. "No offense, but you ain't never asked me nothin' about my Dad."

"My therapist really challenged me last week and made me realize that I really don't know much about you. I'm just trying to learn who you are as you've learned me."

Jace went with it and nodded. "Okay well I really don't remember much. I was just three when he was killed. My mom said he was involved with some bad dudes, but he was tryna get out since my mom had me. They killed him."

"Wow. Was it gang affiliation?" I asked.

"Yea, he was a Crip. He had some rank too."

"Sucks." I shook my head.

"Was Shiloh affiliated with any gangs?" He asked and I immediately looked at him. "I mean it's just I read some articles and that's what they suspected." He clarified.

I shook my head no. "Shiloh wasn't a part of any gang. He didn't like them. He didn't like their philosophy. Shiloh was just a product of his environment. Wasn't as fortunate as you."

"I didn't mean to offend you."

"No, I'm not mad at you." I said. "I'm glad you asked instead of just assuming like everyone else. After he was killed, they trashed his name. It was as if they didn't care about him."