Say It

eighteen

same night | la

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    "Are you okay?" I asked Jace.

We were all sitting by the fire, eating cookies that my mom had baked. Jace looked at me and smiled. "Yeah, I'm good."

   "My stepdad didn't threaten you did he?"

Jace chuckled a bit. "Nah, your stepdad is real cool. Your uncle is crazy though."

   "He's nothing compared to my real uncles." I shook my head.

"Say cheese." Saint said as he held up his camera. We both turned to Saint and I laid my head on Jace's shoulder before he snapped the picture. "Good one." Saint approved.

He then walked away, leaving Jace and I alone again. "Saint, come here. Let's chat." My mom called out to him.

Saint put his head down and walked over there. "Head up, King." Jace yelled.

Pausing, Saint turned around with his head held high and smiled. Looking between the two, I couldn't help the growing smile that was forming on my own face.

Saint turned back around and walked over to where our mom was standing. She opened the french doors, and the two went into the house before she slid them closed.

"That was cute." I said.

Jace looked at me. "I heard him talkin' to Chase 'bout being bullied at school cause he small. I kno' all about that. I had an overnight growth spurt."

I nodded my head. "Yeah, I feel Saint will too. All of us are tall."

"Yeah, as hell. I ain't never seen a tall family like this. Chase almost my height."

I shrugged. "He used to be big. But I guess the height evened him out."

"Ya sister a character, though."

I looked over at Jamila, who was sitting in Papa's lap and eating his cookie. "Baby sis is far beyond her years."

"I'm sorry if I threw you off at the table." Jace said as I looked back at him. "Me and that girl don't even talk like that. Only when I come home and that's by chance."

"It's fine, Jace." I sighed. "Like you said, I never asked."

"If it makes you uncomfo—"

I put my finger up to his lip to shush him. "I don't even know her, Jace. I wish you'd stop doing that."

He looked at me with a lifted brow. "Doin' what?"

"Stop letting me control you, please." I said.

"What? I'm just tryna make sure you don't feel disrespected or nothin'."

I nodded my head. "I know that, Jace. And I appreciate that. But sometimes I need to be put in my place. I can be controlling and sometimes you allow me to."

Jace looked at me as if he were thinking. He chewed on his bottom lip and looked towards the pool. The moon showed its reflection which bounced off Jace as well.

He had a blue undertone to him that I'd only noticed at this moment.

"Say something."

The silence was killing me. I didn't know if I'd stepped on his toes or what.

He let out a breath. "I hadn't noticed that until you said something. You think I'm weak?" He looked at me.

I immediately shook my head no. "Of course not, Jace. Just scared and that's all my fault. You're so scared that I could walk away at any moment that you're willing to do anything for me to stay."