The Shadowman and his Queen

What a Girl Wants...

ShadowQueen Ch. 12: What a Girl Wants...

Regina lays under her love, waiting for whatever he decides to do next. He has his eyes on her, so she decides to gaze into his beautiful dark chocolate pools. When she does she sees something there, something off. Yes, she sees the love he has for her but she sees something distant as well, as if he's there but not there at the same time. After some thought of why this may be, it hits her like a ton of bricks. She was so overwhelmed by the love being poured into her this morning that she verbalized how she really feels. She told him she loves him, multiple times, and she does. But she can see in his eyes, that he doesn't believe she meant to say it, especially so early on in their reunion. But knowing him and his fear of her rejection, he won't ask her about it. She can't have him doubting her or the love they share so, she will address it.

Apparently, Samdi is wearing his feelings on his face or she really knows him well enough to read his mind because she moves to roll them so he's the one on his back and she above him. She smiles as she gazes into his eyes while using her thumb to rub his cheek and runs the tips of her fingers across the bone of his brow. "Baron my love... I know and remember what I said this morning. I wasn't as sleep drunk as you think I was my dear" she voices a bit comically. So much for being sleep addled. "You do?" he asks apprehensively, uncertain of what's to follow, he's usually very confident but she's always had a way of breaking him to humility. 'He's so cute when he's like this, this all nervous and unsure' she thinks with a smile, "yes, I do... and I meant every word, every time..." She moves to straddle him then lays down so her front is touching his, kisses him and rests her forehead against his, "Baron Reginald Fusilier... I love you...so much... and have for a very, very long time." She tells him in her fully awake state, just to solidify her claim.

Hearing her use his real name, his royal name, first, middle and last, hits him hard. That's the 'him' he had hoped she would see. The man passed the smoke of Facilier... of Samdi; the prince...her prince behind the beast. The man she fell in love with. The thought makes him slightly tear up and ask, "you do?". "Of course, I do my love", she laughs through her nose, lifts a little to put some space between them and shakes her head a bit before she continues, "I know there's a LOT that we have to work through, but... you've started the process by being truthful with me, even when my knowing could potentially screw whatever it is you've got planned to hell. And, when I was dishonest with you... you were gentle with me... you weren't quick to anger, in fact I don't think you got angry at all actually" she quietly chuckles. "No I didn't. I can't be angry about it my dear, because I fully understood your reasoning" he clarifies.

"Yes, and that lets me know that the man I love and have loved", she lays back down on him and kisses him again, "my Prince. The man who saved me from a loveless prison", she kisses him again, "the man who showed me care and consideration", she kisses him and rolls her hips a bit to emphasize her next statement which makes him groan, "who made passionate love to me", she kisses him, "the man who loved me for me and sometimes for me... those times when I didn't even love myself...", she kisses him one final time then rests her forehead on his, "... that man is still there. I know he is, because you still do. Baron, I know that you love me..." she says lifting her head to look in his eyes once again, "that I do" he agrees nodding his head as he rubs his hands up and down her back. "...And I love that you love me, I love the way that you love me... I love that I can love you and you can love me freely. I love that there's no longer a need to hide, to save our love for late nights or closed doors... to fear the reactions of others or whatever consequences that may come."

She looks at him intently, she wants for him to truly hear and understand her. Being this vocally expressive and vulnerable is not something she's kept in the custom of, she hasn't had to. She hasn't had much of anyone to need to pour her heart out to in the past several years, so this is a bit uncomfortable for her. Being this kind of open scares her a bit, but she really wants for this that they have between them to work out. The cards revealed a love in her future, and if it be this one, which she hopes it is, she chooses to do her part to make it works. She just needs him to continue to do the same. "I remember when I first fell in love with you, I'd write in my diary all the things I wanted to have with you but knew that I couldn't. I remember fearing death daily knowing that if my diary were found, it was sure to come. I remember when I first told you I was falling in love with you" she reminisces sitting straight up straddling the lower portion of his midsection, still looking into his eyes as she rests her hands on his hard pectorals. "So, do I... always will" he chimes in, joining in on the nostalgia. "So that means you remember that that night under the stars I cried when you expressed you felt the same way?", "yes, I remember that also, and as I recall, those tears weren't ones of joy" he confirms. "No, they weren't my dear, they were tears of desperation and fear because I knew what I wanted, but knew that I couldn't truly have it. That night as I shed my tears I looked up and prayed to the heavens. I prayed for another chance... another life. One where our love could exist and it not be any issue, one where our loving each other had no consequence, a life where we could just be together."