Naked

H u r t

It's so fucking hard to keep everything on the inside and just act like shit's okay , like I'm not fucking hurt but i am . And i fucking miss you . You're that piece of puzzle that I've looked for for so long but you're in a glass cube , in somebody else's property and that all i can do about is stare at its divine and perfectly shaped outline and imagine what could've been between us but can't have you .

I am hurt because i am surrounded by people that I'm forced to deal with , people who are two faced whores that run after my trash after i take it out , people that claim connection but really it's just faces and fake smiles .

I am hurt because i tried to find a similar piece of puzzle that claimed to love me like you but the minute I exposed just a tiny ray of my sunlight it blinded them and sent me home with no one to ask if i ever got home safe , it sent me home with questions i know the answers for but chose not to ask .
I am hurt because i have tried to stay by somebody's side but all they cared for was material , i am hurt because I've put the past behind and they bug into my life in the shittiest way possible
I am hurt because none of the things i want now are stuff that i can keep , they're just temporary because i might just leave , i am hurt because nothing is going smoothly but i still have to look up and smile and convince myself that this muddy road is straight and that I'm walking properly. It fucking hurts because i feel like I'm in the middle of a huge crowd that run into me , some are nice enough to pick me up when i fall and then leave and the rest just keep bumping into me , as if they can walk through me .
I am hurt and it hurts to admit it , it hurts every single time , and i fucking hate people's pity , i hate the hugs and the hand rubbing and the awh's and the compliments i hate everything about it and i avoid it by staying hurt alone .