For Him (Tracob)

Jacob's pov

Troye is not a morning person. Not by a long shot. He rejects the idea of getting out of bed before 9am, and isn't even a functional member of society until around 11. So that's why I'm surprised when I wake up, and he's sitting upright in the bed, a blanket tossed around his thin shoulders and Nash's head in his lap. The night sky outside is streaked with pink, signaling sunrise. It can't be much past 5am. I shift, and reach my hand out to touch him gently. He starts at my touch, looking down at me.

"Hey," he says softly.

"Hey," I reply, equally soft. "You're up early." My voice is still thick with sleep.

He looks down at Nash's head in his lap and shrugs. "I guess so."

"Which is unusual for you," I prompt, trying to coerce him into talking.

He shrugs again, very focused on scratching Nash's ears.

"Something wrong, Tro?"

Troye shakes his head. "No."

I say nothing, knowing it'll only take my silence before he cracks and spills what I already know is bothering him. He's silent for maybe 10 seconds before he speaks again, in a small whisper.

"I'm nervous, Jakes."

I sigh, shifting so that my body is pressed right up against his legs and my head rests on his thigh. "Troye, baby, everything is gonna be fine. It's all going to be perfectly okay."

He looks down at, chewing at his lower lip. His eyes are full of worry. "But what if it's not? What if she doesn't like us at all? What if she turns out to be a total pain or completely inflexible or something?"

The "she" in question, is our surrogate, who we'll be meeting together for the first time today. We've spent weeks working with an agency to find the perfect surrogate to carry our baby. It's a tiring process really, full of all sorts of complications and things to consider, but in the end we finally settled on one.

Meeting her is an unnerving thought, because it makes the whole thing seem that much more real, but at the same time, I'm so ready for this. I thought the day that Troye and I would finally settle and have the baby we always knew we wanted would never come. In between albums and tours and press to keep up with, it seemed like our future together was constantly being pushed to the back burner. On our 4 year anniversary, Troye surprised me (emphasis on surprised) by getting down on one knee and asking me to marry him. Coming from the man who didn't want to get married, I was a little shocked but obviously, I said yes.

I said yes a million times over, and we married quietly in Australia barely a month later. It was a private affair, family and closest friends only. We didn't even tell the public for another month or so. But what we did do was immediately started making plans for the bab we were finally ready for. And we are ready.

I repeat this thought to Troye, reminding him how long we've been waiting to find the perfect surrogate, but he just looks even more anxious.

"But that's exactly what I mean, see? We get our hopes thinking she's the one, and she turns out to be a massive bitch with her own agenda. Then what?"

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. "Angelface, we're going to be paying her generously to follow our contract exactly. She doesn't get to have an agenda. Besides the agency says the people she's worked with previously gave glowing reviews about her, remember?"

Troye runs his fingers through his hair. "Yeah, but, they could have been saying that just to get our business, or - or maybe she could have payed people off the leave good reviews or-"