I cry as I pick the glass out of my hands and knees. I stare at the bloody sink from my hands and knees and wonder if it is really all worth it anymore. "is it worth living" I say aloud. I look at the pills on the counter. My mind starts swirling wi...
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As I come home I hear the regular chaos. Yelling, Screaming, the never ending argument about everything. No matter what it was. This all started about 6 years ago when my mother passed away. This isn't how it always was. I remember camping, swimming, and having fun. Then cancer came in and swept it all away. Leaving nothing but Anger and Depression. As I try to walk away from it all I hear my name be screamed angrily. "Jessica!!!! I don't fucking care what you think your doing, get your fucking ass out here now. DO YOU HEAR ME!!" I softly reply yes and walk back towards the war that is going down in my living room. I see glass on the floor and a tray flipped over. My pups are hiding away in some corner of the house. As usual your father is home drunk. "Get this fucking cleaned up now, I don't care if you didn't do it or not!" he slurred. As I bent down to pick up the glass he pushes me down into it. "Hurry Up and CLEAN THIS UP" he screams. I quickly pick up the glass and set the tray back up and run to throw the glass into the trash. I then run to the bathroom. I cry as I pick the glass out of my hands and knees. I stare at the bloody sink from my hands and knees and wonder if it is really all worth it anymore. "is it worth living" I say aloud. I look at the pills on the counter. My mind starts swirling with thoughts thinking of only one thing. I can't. I can't do it. I drag my feet as I walk into my bedroom and lock the door. I slide my back against the door as I look up at my BTS posters stating "LOVE YOURSELF". How can I do that. I hate myself. My own father hates me.I cried until I fell asleep only to be awaken by my alarm the next morning for school. My radio singing at me "Save me Save me I need your love before I fall". Though I feel like falling they always lift me up a little. They make me feel at least happy enough to smile. Some days when I go to school and talk to my friends I feel like I'm hiding behind my own glass mask. It's better that way though. I wouldn't want my friends to worry. They don't need to know what is going on. I don't want to hurt them. I got dressed taking caution to wear long sleeves and jeans to hide my cuts from the glass. I can feel the jeans rub against the still sore skin. It stung but it was bearable. I made sure to brush my teeth and go threw my normal morning routine. As I went to go out the door I heard my dad yell "Be Home By 5 or I will Find You". I closed the door and shivered. I get into my car and head off to school. As I was driving I put on my Love Yourself: Tear CD. As I listen I sing along with a smile. I hope one day I can see them in concert. I've never once been to a concert and I would love to have my first concert be BTS. As I pull into my parking spot I hear Dawn and Emma yelling at me excited to tell me something. I got out of my car a little confused but I smiled at them. "JESS!!!!!! WE GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!!!" Dawn about screamed with excitement. Emma stood by her about bouncing with excitement. When it became to much for her she screamed "WE HAVE 3 BTS TICKETS!!!" I looked at them confused. "Why would you get 3 tickets?" I asked not understanding what's going on.Dawn laughed and grabbed me and looked at me seriously. "we want you to come with us" she said smiling. I didn't know what even to say. I stood there with my mouth open trying to find words. Emma laughs and closes my mouth for me. "You'll catch flies with your mouth open like that" she said. "W-what day is the concert" I asked trying to keep my excitement down. They both yell "Saturday". I hugged them so hard starting to cry. "Thank you, This is just to much, I-I don't even know what to say" I said crying. They both laughed. "Just tell us you will come, we will pick you up." Dawn said. I shook my head not able to talk properly. As I shook my head the bell rung and we all ran to class. "oh we took to long we better get to class before were all late." said Emma.I still couldn't say anything and walked to my English class with them. With it being Monday that means only a few days to come up with a story that my father would accept.
