so help me (mashton)

entry seven

i'm so sorry it's been so long since i've published this. i've had insane writer's block. but i've written four more entries so far, so at least i have more stuff to give after my dry spell (omg)

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i am an awful person.

why, might you ask?

when michael got back, he was at my side immediately and did his best to cheer me up, and what did i do?

i yelled at him.

he got really sad and left, understandably. i would be sad if the guy i liked shouted at me for something i can't control.

wait, i meant girl.

okay, you know what, fuck it. i am certainly not straight, that's for sure. but am i gay? no. i'm just a sad labelless person who shouted at his best friend.

but anyway, i should get on with what happened. so, michael got back, and-

vvvvvvv 

we heard the front door opening, and both luke and calum instantly shot up from their seats next to me and the warmth of their comfort had immediately left.

i heard both of them shouting incoherent words, until michael interrupted them.

"woah, guys, calm down. talk calmly and one at a time. what the fuck is going on?" he asked, closing the front door.

"where have you been?" calum asked, his voice raised.

"i was at crystal's... did something happen?"

i internally groaned.

"no, nothing happened at all. that's why we were calling and texting you so urgently," calum sassed, "of course something happened!"

"crystal and i turned off our phones for the day, would you calm down? just tell me what happened!"

"michael, bryana broke up with ashton and he's heartbroken," luke calmly explained.

"what?" michael whispered.

"we needed you to come home because he's so distraught," luke continued.

"shit,"

merely seconds later, i felt the sofa dip in next to me where michael had taken a seat. his arm gravitated around my shoulder, and it somehow made me feel instantly better.

i'm not gonna lie - being in michael's arms like that made me feel at home.

"hey buddy," he said, speaking as if i were a child, "i heard what happened. i'm so fucking sorry, man,"

i don't know why, but his sympathy made me feel worse. i didn't want his pity. i didn't want him belittling me like i'm a fragile child. i'm not.

"you should be," i muttered.

"what?" he questioned, taken aback.

so i snapped.

i raised my head from my hands and looked at him, slightly self conscious of how much of a mess i looked, but overall not caring considering the circumstance.

"she dumped me because she thinks i'm gay for you,"

"that's ridiculous, ash, but i don't see why that's my fault," michael said, furrowing his eyebrows.