Like It Was Yesterday

Part Nine

Monday morning I couldn’t wait to tell Ashleigh and the rest of my friends about Kyle. They all were happy for me now that I had finally decided to be like every other teenager and date someone. Something they’ve been trying to get me to do for a while.

When I got to 3rd hour I didn’t even really pay much attention to Iliana. I barely even noticed she was there. It was like that for the rest of the week. It seemed having a boyfriend kept my mind off of liking her. I had actually been happier and me and Kyle were great together. I thought I was actually starting to really like him. My friends noticed. They all thought it was great that being with him made me so happy.

Saturday night I went over to his house and we sat watching a movie on TV. It was a scary movie too, because that was my favorite kind of movie. I thought it was nice of him to let me pick, although I kind of wondered if he only liked the scary movie idea because he could hug me every time I got scared, which was quite often actually. Afterwards we sat there talking for a while and he kissed me again, only this time we got interrupted by his little brother and sister walking in and giggling. They were trying not to let us hear them, but we could anyway. I thought it was kind of cute actually.

Everything was perfect until about five minutes later when Kyle left the room to go to the kitchen and Iliana suddenly popped back into my head.

“What the hell? I thought I was over you.”

“You still love me Stacie. You can’t deny that. You may be with him, but you’ll never stop thinking about me.”

Okay… now that was something I imagined she wouldn’t have said in real like. What was going on?

“What if I don’t want to think about you? What if I’m happy with Kyle?” I asked.

“But you’re not really that happy with Kyle. You’d rather it be me here with you instead, with my arms around you… not his. Admit it Stacie, you still want me more than anyone else.”

“NO! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE RIGHT?”

I hadn’t realized that I actually screamed that one out loud until Kyle came back in the room asking me if I was okay. I also didn’t realize I was sitting up on his couch now covering my ears. As if that would help me not hear something that was going on inside my head.

She was right… or well, it was in my head so I guess she wasn’t t really the one that was right. Either way it was true. I still loved her. No matter how much I tried to act like I didn’t.

“I’m fine… I just got a text from Rachel telling me about how we only have a couple more weeks to bring out grades up before the end of the quarter. Listen, I’m going to have to go home now, it’s getting late and I’m sure my mom is starting to wonder where I am.”

“Okay, I’ll drive you home,” he offered.

When I got home I immediately went up to my room and practically fell onto my bed. This can’t be happening. I don’t want to start thinking of her every time I’m with Kyle.

-

Monday during 3rd hour I looked over at Kyle. We didn’t talk to each other after that night, and he probably thought that there was something wrong. Then I looked over at Iliana. She seemed to be more quiet than usual. Usually she was full of energy and pretty hyper, but that day she just kind of sat back and did whatever she was told to do without looking at all interested..

I talked to her last night and told her about some of the problems I’d been having lately. She was really nice about it and I found out that she’s really good at giving people advice. Kind of made me like her even more… sadly enough.

I could help but wonder why she looked sad today though. I wanted to ask, but figured it really wasn’t any of my business. Maybe she read what I wrote on the heater at the end of the hallways and that bothered her… you never know.

I went back down there at the end of the hour and waited for her to walk by. When she did she didn’t say much. She just smiled and quietly said bye. Now I was really starting to wonder if something was wrong with her.

As I was sitting there I started playing with my necklace, and Amanda walked in a few seconds later.

“So this is where you always are at the end of 3rd hour. No wonder I can never find you.”

She laughed.

“Yeah, I like sitting down here. It’s quiet. Hey look, I have a problem. This past weekend when I was with Kyle, I started thinking about Iliana again. I thought I was over her.”

“Umm… thinking about her how?”

“Well, I started getting in an argument with her in my head. She told me to stop denying that I still love her, because she knows that I still do. And that I’m not as happy being with Kyle as I think I am.”

Amanda gave me a weird look.

“I’m not going to lie to you… that sounds kind of messed up, but I get what you’re saying. And maybe it’s true, maybe you aren’t as happy with him as you would be with her, but I think you shouldn’t let that get in the way of your relationship. Kyle likes you, Iliana is a girl and she’s most likely straight. You’re never going to be with her, so why ruin what you have with him?”

“Thanks Amanda. I really feel great now.”

I got up and walked out before she could say anything more.

Sometimes she wasn’t really nice about things. She always tried to make me get over liking Iliana even though I told her it was impossible.

I was walking around during lunch by myself when I started to hear what sounded like someone walking behind me. They were quiet footsteps, I almost didn’t hear them. I was surprised when I turned around and no one was there. Not only that, but they stopped. I turned around and kept walking. A few seconds later I swear I heard someone call my name, but once again, turned around to see no one was behind me. I stopped this time, and decided to go back and look for anyone that might be hiding around a corner or something. I almost had a heart attack when I turned the corner and ran straight into David.

“Hey David, did you hear someone call my name just a second ago?” I asked.

He shook his head.

“No. I didn’t hear anything why?”

“I swear I just heard someone call my name.”

“You’re probably just imagining things. There’s no one else around, most people are eating lunch still or on the other side of the school.”

It seemed like I was always just imagining this a lot by then… when would this ever end?

“You’re probably right. I’ll talk to you later. I have to go find Ashleigh.”

I never did find her, although now that I think about it, she probably had one of her clubs to go to that day.