Like It Was Yesterday

Part Fourteen

I never thought I’d be able to describe what it felt like to die, but who would? You’re not supposed to be up walking around afterward. You’re not supposed to be… “alive” or whatever you want to call it. I can’t say I’ve ever known anyone who actually came back to tell about it and so I guess this makes me different.

The day was like any other normal day. I was in the house I lived in at the time with a nice family I met that took me in, and it was somewhere around dinner time. The rest of the family was out, I was lying on the couch reading a book.

Out of nowhere I began to feel really tired and worn out, almost as though I had aged several years in that short time.

Thinking I was getting sick, I tried to get up and go laid down in bed. However, before I could even get up all these images started running through my head. Me, my family, my friends, everything. It was like my entire life was passing before me. I didn’t even have time to think before I blacked out and fell back into the couch.

I had no idea how long I had been laying there like that, but I did eventually wake up. When I opened my eyes and looked around, the house was still quiet. I figured I must not have been out for very long because the family would have been back by now if I had been.

The first thing I noticed upon sitting up was that I was no longer breathing. I couldn’t. Not only that, but I didn’t need to. It was such a normal action though, so I chose to do it anyway.

I also noticed I couldn’t feel a heartbeat. I checked for my pulse, nothing. My skin was ice cold when I touched it, but there was nothing else.

I stood up and walked down the hallway to the bathroom to look in the mirror. I looked mostly the same. My hair was the same shiny chocolate brown and my eyes were the same shade of moss green. The only difference was my skin.

It was pale white. Not with a pink tint like before, but more like the pale white you get right before you pass out. All the color had been completely drained from not only my face, but my entire body. Al I could do was stare at my reflex ion. How would I hide with from my “family”?

I ended up packing my things and leaving. I didn’t leave a note for them or anything. Of course I felt bad. Knowing they would all wonder where I went. Knowing they would most likely be worried about me. I just needed to hide out until I knew what to do. Maybe I would let them know eventually that I was ok.

Years went by before I finally came up with a logical explanation as to why I “died,” although I still wasn’t sure what to call it.

When I was finally able to go out in public uncovered, after finding make up to make my skin appear darker, I decided to do research on my situation. Turns out Evelyn even left a book for me to read. I’m not sure how she knew where to put it. Maybe it was all that magical power I suspect she possessed, but it both creeped me out and made me feel safe, like she was watching over me.

The book said that in order to come back to your original time when you found who you were looking for, you had to die and leave that part of you there. If not, you would die in the future, and just drop dead wherever you were.

At this point, I knew I should have died of old age. Had it not been for Evelyn, my life would have ended like normal and I wouldn’t be here. I knew I had to fine you now otherwise I’d be stuck “alive” and alone.

Now almost 200 years later I’m still in high school and I decided to go back, get more necklaces, and give them to anyone I had a slight connection with. I’d been living in various states moving all over the country looking for her, but this place seemed different. When I got here, I felt closer.

After I gave them out to previous girlfriends of mine I noticed mine appeared a little more gold, but not like it said it would, so I didn’t think much of it, that is until last year when you were a freshmen. When you realized you didn’t just like me, you loved me. Then it looked more gold than ever before, and I knew you were somewhere out there, but I didn’t know where.

When I realized you were out there I started watching to see who it might be. Because it didn’t start glowing until after I started seeing you less. I never had that connection with anyone though. I didn’t understand at first. I was starting to think that maybe it was a trick. Maybe I wasted a ton of money on these necklaces for nothing.

Then this year I see you’re in the class again and I realize you’re still wearing yours. I didn’t want to get my hope up, so I didn’t say anything to you. I didn’t want to freak you out or anything either. I decided to just keep my eye on you for a while to see if maybe there was a way to prove that you were really who I was looking for.

That’s why it may have seemed like someone was following you around. I’m not exactly the best at hiding. Occasionally when I looked over at you in class I noticed when you were actually looking back. Every time you did I almost felt like I was looking at her. You had the same look in your eyes that she often did before she left.

Than recently, I saw what you wrote on that heater at the end of the hallway. I couldn’t have been happier, but I still wasn’t convinced. I also tried helping you with stuff, hoping that talking to you would help you remember. You didn’t though, and I started to wonder if maybe it was because I changed who I am, because I’m not the girl you knew back in 1809. That made me start to worry.

When one of your friends actually told me you liked me, I knew it had to be true. There was nothing else to think about, you came back. I couldn’t think of another reason you could possibly like me. I really couldn’t think why any girl would really like me like you did. I don’t know any others that like girls too. There was only one reason that made sense. She was part of you, and that part of you made you like me.

 “Do you remember now Stacie?”