Room 138

Chapter 17

Andy had been sleeping most of the day. We tried to get him to eat something, even if it was something small. But, he said he wasn't hungry.

Tara said it was normal for a person who is dying to begin refusing food or water. It's something their body simply doesn't need anymore.

I didn't want to think about that. Didn't want to admit what everyone else had. Andy was dying. He could go at any time now.

I carefully climbed in the bed next to the younger man and cuddled up to him. I began lightly tracing across his tattooed flesh, fighting the tears that were threatening to spill.

I had to be brave. At least for now. I wanted to be strong for Andy. So he wouldn't be sad that he was leaving us.

"I love you, Andy" I said softly, leaning in to press a kiss to his cheek.

Andy's eyes opened for a moment and he looked at me. "Love you.." He said, breathing getting harder.

I turned and saw Matt standing at the door. "Go get the others and get in here." I said.

Matt disappeared for a second then came back followed by the others.

I patted the spot on the bed next to Andy.

Matt wasted no time in carefully climbing on the bed next to Andy. 

"I'm not ready to let you go, Andy. None of us are." Matt started. 

Truth was, I'd always been a little jealous of Matt and Andy's relationship. They were together for almost 3 years, then one day they just ended it. They've always been best friends, and they promised each other nothing would come between that. They meant it. 

Everyone was crying now. We all knew it was almost time. There was nothing more we could do for him. 

"I--I--I--lo--love you a--l-l" Andy said as he swallowed I could tell even that was getting harder for him now. 

It's funny, I'm in my 30's, and I've never watched someone die. I've saw my share of dead bodies before I think we all have. I've been to more funerals than I care to count. But, I've never had the guts to watch the process. 

I don't think I would have made it through had it not been for the guys. Actually, I know I wouldn't have made it through that.

"Someone should probably call Tara. She said to call her when we think it's time." CC reminded us. 

Jake nodded and slipped his phone out of his pocket, "I'll be right back" He said as he stepped outside. 

All I could do was lie there and watch his chest rise and fall. Anytime there was a delay, I panicked. I didn't know how I would be able to let him go. He's the love of my life. My best friend. The one person who has always been there for me. That person I thought I'd grow old with. 

I rest my head against Andy's chest, listening to his heartbeat. It was then I smelled something. 

I knew what it was. He'd messed himself. 

I swallowed hard and asked the others to step out for a moment while I got him cleaned up. 

Matt offered to help, I was honestly glad he was there. 

Matt helped me take Andy's clothes off and toss to the floor. He carefully lifted his body off the bed so I could change the sheets. We picked him out something else to wear. His batman jammies. He always loved those. 

We slid them on, sliding them up his hips and Matt gently laid him back on the bed. I tossed the bedding in the dirty clothes in the bathroom and shut the door. I'd worry about those later. 

We told the others they could come back in now, and Tara walked in with them. "Hey" She said, setting her bag down on the in the room. She walked over and began examining Andy. 

She nodded slowly. It was happening. 

"Andy?" She said softly, rubbing his arm. "Andy can you hear me?" She asked. 

No response. 

"His pupils are fixed and not moving. He's still breathing, but it's not going to be long now." She said. 

Tears streamed down my cheeks and I climbed back on the bed with him, burying my face in his arm. 

A few minutes later he began the 'death rattle' which honestly sounded like loud snoring. 

The others gathered around the bed, taking his hand. Everyone was breaking down. This was killing all of us. 

"I love you, Andy. I fucking love you so much." I said. 

Andy began to gasp, and he would almost stop breathing completely for a few seconds, but he'd start right back again. It killed me to look at his face. His eyes were still open, and now they seemed glazed over. 

"We all love you, Andy" Jinxx cried. "We're all here. You've fought so hard. We're so proud of you. You don't have to fight anymore. You can let go now.." He said just before he broke down. CC was immediately by his side. 

I nodded, giving Andy's hand a light squeeze "That's right, baby. We're all here. We all love you so damn much. We're so proud to have known you. To have loved you. You can let go. We don't want to lose you, but we know you can't fight anymore..." My voice trailed off and I felt someone grab my hand. It was Matt.

"You're one of the strongest people I've ever known. You're one of the best friends I've ever had. I love you, Andy. I always will. You fought so long and so hard. I'll never forget you..."

"We love you, Andy." CC and Jake said, unable to say much more than that. 

Just then, he took one more deep breath and then let it out. And just like that, it was over. Andy was gone.