Room 138

Chapter 18

Tara stayed with us until the funeral home came to pick up his body. I looked up in time to see them put Andy's body in the body bag and zip it up. Part of me wanted to scream he couldn't breathe like that...

I almost felt out of place. Like I shouldn't be here. I hadn't been spending as much time with Andy as I once had. Things always seemed to get in the way of our 'best friend' time.

We'd promised to make it a point to hang out soon.

My best friend, my brother was gone. He was gone and this time, there was no coming back. I was lost, broken and confused.

I needed my brother. We'd already lost so many people, this was just too much.

I wiped at my eyes with the back of my hand and tried my best to regain my composure.

I couldn't believe he was gone.

My phone had been blowing up for the past few days. Usually it was fans asking how Andy was doing. I knew they were worried too, and wanted to know what was going on. But honestly, right now, I didn't want to even think about talking to any of them.

All I wanted to do was crawl in a hole and cry. I wanted to forget this day ever happened and pretend my best friend was still here. That at any moment he was going to walk through the door and ask me if I wanted to go play some Xbox.

I knew that wasn't going to happen though. Andy wouldn't be walking through that door ever again.

I took a couple deep breaths when I saw CC walking toward me. Any other time when I was sad, I'd ask CC to do something crazy. He would, and suddenly I had no problems.

I knew even that wouldn't work now.

"There you are" CC began, taking a seat next to me on the ground "been looking everywhere for you."

I shrugged "sorry, I just didn't feel like dealing with anyone."

CC nodded "yeah, I know the feeling. Ashley went off, Jinxx followed and Jake is with James. So, I decided to come find you. I really don't want to be alone." He admitted.

I nodded. I can't say I wanted the company, but I didn't exactly want to be alone either. "How's Ashely?" I asked.

CC sighed, pulling his legs up to his chest and resting his chin "he's not good. I'm scared." He said softly.

I nodded. I think we were all scared then.  We probably wouldn't admit it, but the fear and concern was there.

Ashley wasn't suicidal by any means, but something like this was enough to drive anyone to that point.

Andy and Ashley were one another's rock. Someone that was always there for them. Even when the chips were down. 

We still had to plan the funeral. That's something I was no looking forward too. I wasn't sure I'd be able to handle that. Hell, I wasn't sure any of us would be able to handle that. 

There was still that part of me, a big part that believed this was all a nightmare. That Andy was still alive. He'd never been sick. Hell, I still can't wrap my head around Danny and them being gone. None of this seems real. 

"We'll get him through this. We'll all get through this. I know it seems like we won't, but we will." I promised CC, offering him a small smile as I looked over at him. 

"Thanks for being here, Matt. I don't think Ashley could have done any of that by himself. And I'm pretty sure none of us could have helped him." 

I shrugged, wiping the single tear that rolled down my cheeks "It was nothing, really." I began "Andy was my best friend. I'd have done anything at all for him. And, I knew that was one of the last things I could do for him."

CC nodded. "Still, we appreciate it." 

I sighed, fighting the urge to break down and cry right now. I couldn't even talk about Andy without crying now. I hated that feeling. Maybe one day it wouldn't do this to me, but right now, well right now was a completely different story.