Uncertainty // z.m.

Introduction

Introduction

__________________ London, 29.11.13

Dear friend,

I know there is actually no point in writing these letters, because no one besides me reads them anyway, but I feel like I have to share my thoughts with someone. And because I don't have the courage to tell a real person, I share it with paper. Paper is better than any person could ever be. At least I don't have to worry about any consequences I caused by talking about the wrong things with the wrong people.

The only way for me to ease my worries is this one and that's why I'm sticking to it. You may call me crazy for writing letters to no one in particular, but it's necessary for me. I have to tell someone what happened, to forget about the past and concentrate on the future. Maybe over time, you'll understand my misery and see what I'm trying to explain.

However, this experience I told you about last time. It occurred again. It was the same guy in the same location and he was waiting there, obviously to fulfil yet another task. I watched him from afar and I had the impression that he was aware of my observation. But he didn't react in any way, he just stood there and checked his clock once in a while. It was windy and his black hair was flying around his face whenever a big rush of air crossed the alley he was standing at.

I sat down on a bench a few hundred meters away from that place. After having walked around with the dog for more than two hours, I was a little exhausted. But that was not the main reason why I couldn't leave the park, he was. His appearance had something captivating, I couldn't help but stare at him, even though I knew he was dangerous, very dangerous. It was not only his good looks, he was handsome as hell, no, it was the way he was looking at me. He was activating an emotion inside me I couldn't put my finger on. It was something between curiosity, fascination and fear.

Sometime later, his phone ringed, I could hear his muffled ring tone, because the park was practically empty at this time of the day. I watched him talking on the phone and saw how his facial expression changed from relaxed to mad in a matter of seconds. Whoever that was, he was talking to, had informed him about something that he clearly wasn't in favour of. With one last look at me, he turned around and disappeared in the little forest separating the park from the main street, where he probably had parked his car. After that day, he didn't cross up in that park again and left me with the weight of the things I saw the last time and the fear that he might come back for me.

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