Asleep (Tyler Joseph x Reader)

Six

I watch him take his boxers off. He sits down and I walk over to him and sit on his lap.

I kiss and put my hand on his dick. He starts moaning as I stroke it faster.

"Mm yess baby girl" he says moaning quietly. He lays back on the bed and I get on top of him. He smirks. "Are you ready?" He asks.

I sit there for awhile and then nod. He places his dick inside of me and I slowly sit on it.

"Hey josh is bett-"

I turn around and see my mom staring at Tyler and I.

"Fuck.." I whisper.

"What the fuck! You're only 16!" She yells.

"Mom I-I'm s-sor-r-"

"No! If you're gonna go be a slut, don't do it here!" She yells and slams the door.

I get away from Tyler and put my clothes back on.

"Hey, I'm sorry" Tyler starts.

"Don't!" I sigh. "I think it's better if you just.. leave." I say looking down.

He nods and leaves my room.

I walk out and sit next to josh watching Tyler grab his backpack and start walking to the door.

"Bye josh." He says waving.

Josh waves, "bye".

"..josh?"

He looks at me. "Yeah?" He answers.

"I.." I sigh "I want.." I didn't finish I couldn't.. couldn't breath.

"Y/n, what do you want?" He asks.

I tap on my throat hoping he knows what I mean. I fall to the floor gasping for air. I start crying. Thoughts run though my head.

Useless

Slut

Lies

Sorry for you

Invisible

They're pretending.

They

Hate

You

Josh holds me.

"Breath! In and out. I'm here for you!" He put my hand on his chest for me to feel his calm breath.

I started to calm down.

"What happened?" Josh asks

I look at him. "I-I-.. just thought to much about all of this. How I know Tyler when he doesn't know me. How you're hurting yourself. How I've hurt Tyler." I explain.

"It's ok y/n, it's alright, okay?" He says softly.

I nod. I hug him and cry into his chest. He's such a soft boy. He's so caring.

Ding

I checked my phone. It was tyler.

Tyler: hey are you alright?
•
Me:. No .
•
Tyler: what's wrong?
•
Me:I just had an anxiety attack.
•
Tyler: omg I'm so sorry
•
Me: yeah josh helped me through it. I gtg
•
Tyler: oh ok bye
———————————-

I sit on the couch with josh and cuddle into his chest. He plays with my hair and I just listen to his breathing.

It's so calm

It's so peaceful.

"Josh?" I say.

"Hm?" He answers.

"This is reality, right?" I ask.

"If you want." He responds.

What the hell does that mean?

"Ok."

He had to leave and I walk him out of the house.

"Hey hun? Come here." My mom says leaning on the counter in the kitchen.

I walk towards her.

"Yes?.." I say.

"What were you doing with Tyler? Like- why?" She ask holding my shoulders.

I stood there looking at the ground.

"Well!" She raises her voice.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I-i was.. Ugh, I just want all of this to end! I want my old life back!" I yell and run to my room. 

I take out my razor and cover my whole arm in cuts. I didn't give a fuck right now.

I'll wait till she goes to bed...

I lay down in my bed and look at Instagram.

I then fall asleep

Dream

I was walking in a forest and I see Tyler standing a few feet from me. His back was facing me with his head down. I walked up to him and touched his shoulder.

"Tyler?" I say.

He turns his head.

"This is not reality, this is dream!" He yells and then disappears in plain sight.

I turn around and see josh cutting his arm.

"Josh!" I yell and run towards him.

"If you want, you can save me, but it won't do anything in reality." He says and also disappears in plain sight.

I wake up and take a deep breath.

"Reality?" I say to myself. I look at my phone.

1:29

I get up and walk towards my kitchen. I open the knife drawer and find the sharpest one.

I take out a piece of paper.

"Reality, What the fuck is reality. Obviously not this. Hopefully I wake up from a dream and go back to my happy place. I'm so sorry. Sorry to josh, sorry to Tyler, sorry to you whoever is reading this. I know I was a failure."

I put the note in my hoodie pocket and grab the knife.

Then I knew at that moment I wasn't asleep anymore.