Fragments

Confessing

As the rain continues to pour down my face, I wander towards the centre of town, without letting any thoughts enter my clear mind.

I walk and walk, until I find myself in a small, dusty, dark and messy alley way. I fall next to a wall and cover my hands with my knees. I don't want anyone to know I'm here. This time I want to be alone.

The thoughts, the feelings, the guilt,  all comes crashing in and the storm starts again. Shivers creep around my body causing the agonising tears to gush out.
I know why I'm crying, I'm crying because of what I did to Ryder. Of how I treated him.

In the distance I hear a couple of laughs and people talking, they stop at the end of the alley and one of the boys puts his hand onto the wall and leans on it. He glances into the corner where I hide and I can see him squinting his eyes and noticing that I am here, I cover my face and try to not move a muscle.

The boy walks a little more into the alley and his friends behind him are curious as to what he's doing. He ends up standing just above me and then he crouches down next to my face.

"Hey are you okay?" The strangers voice asks.

I lift my head up a little and the light skinned boy has dark brown eyes and a warming smile. I recognise it.

"W-who are you?" I stutter.

"Zeke." He answer back almost instantly.

'Zeke' the name rings a bell in my mind, and just like that I remember him from that night. The worst night. The night where our argument started.

Tears explode out of my eyes as I recall the memories in my mind, when I shouted at him. I still remember seeing his eyes lose that twinkle in them and become blank. Like I had an effect on his heart.

"Nevaeh!" He blurts out.

I shiver a little bit when he touches my shoulder and brings me to stand up.
Purposely I slide back down and sit there not moving a muscle.

"Please just go." I whisper, while tears fill my throat.

He doesn't move, instead he pulls out his phone and taps his fingers on it before putting it to his ear and waiting for something to happen.

"Hi, I need you to come here."

"I'll send you the location." He says with the phone to his ear.

The call ends and he shouts to his friends to carry on home and he will catch up to them, they all nod in unison and trot along the pathway out of sight.

"Look, I don't know what your doing here. But help is coming." He states.

I freeze up to the possibilities that could be. I don't want to see him again.

I bury my head even deeper into my knees and I can hear him taking deep breaths.

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Moments later while Zeke is comforting me, I hear a car pull up and headlights light up the alley.

There's a loud metallic slam and before I know it Zeke is steadying me up and forcing me to face the unknown car and figure.

The lights are too bright for a moment but then I am back in focus and the person in front of me is Ryder.

"Hey are you going to be okay?" Zeke asks while hugging me.

I nod my head slightly, but I'd rather tell him that I won't be and that I'll be more upset with him. But I don't whisper a word.

"Thanks Zeke." Ryder declares, while clenching his jaw and acting serious.

Zeke gives Ryder a nod and walks off out of the alley and my eyes trail him until he is cut off by the wall.

I look back at Ryder and I can see the worry in his eyes, the bags hanging from his eyes, the open wounded knuckles. He looks a mess. And it's my fault.

I drop down onto the ground and scream out.

"Woah, woah, woah." Ryder says while stepping closer to me and holding me by my arm.

He pulls my up and I lean on the wall behind me with a tear streaked face, and wet hair sticking to me.

He stares me in the eye, and I stare back but before he can do anything else I start to shiver. The cold rain is now hitting me harder and freezing my every muscle.

I hear Ryder let out a groan and him taking off his jacket. My tears clog up my throat and I can't speak, barely hear or breath. I hate myself.
Look at how I've made him so upset. He hasn't slept. He has hurt himself because of me.

He throws the leather jacket over my shoulders and pulls me into a hug.

The sandalwood-cigarette smell of his jacket, steady's my breathing and I let my self sink into his muscular shoulders.

He puts his strong arms around me and tries to pick me up. But I don't let him. Instead I push him away from me.

"Are you drunk?" He laughs.

I shake my head and wipe my salty tears from my face to see him clearer. The rain still soaking me and Ryder.

I slide down back to where it's was safe, the ground but I don't escape. Ryder is crouched right in front of me, he shuffles a little and then sits down on his butt, imitating me.

His electrifying hand cups my face and he trails his finger on my cheek, wiping any tear that escaped my eyes away.

" I-i'm sorry Ryder." I choke, trying to hold the guilt in.

I've probably made him so upset. He's bound to start shouting at me asking me why I think sorry is enough. We're going to be shouting at each other again. He's going to hurt himself again. And it will all be my fault.

But he just laughs, and smiles to me and tells me it's okay. He doesn't blame me for anything, he just sits there smug.

I glance to the ground as he tries to pull me back up again, but I don't let him.

"No. It's not okay." I spit.

"I've made you like this." I say while holding his bloody knuckles in my hands. He slowly pulls them away and hides them.

"You should hate me. I destroyed our- whatever this is- and I've destroyed your happiness. I've made you insane, I didn't even think about the consequences of our argument and I regret it. So damn much!" I yell while tears cascade down my pink cheeks.

He looks at me with a disbelieving complexion and I can see the tears brink on his eyes.

"Nevaeh, I don't care about the reasons." He finally says.

I look at him confused. He doesn't care. He doesn't hate me. I'm just overreacting.

I push myself up and stand up, Ryder does the same and now he is inches from my face.
My breathing becomes erratic, I can feel my palms getting sweaty and my heart shaking.

His arms slithers around my neck and we are now so close that I can feel his body heat.
He unexpectedly, kisses me. Grabbing my hair and making our kiss more passionate. I put my hands on his back and kiss him harder, showing my love, exposing my self to him. Letting him take control of me, for the first time I feel free. And consequences sway above my head, but I pull them away. Not now. I need this. I crave this. His lust. His fire.
I am vulnerable against the wall as he pecks at my neck causing my whole body to tingle, the wet rain leaks down my back and in between us. I've never felt this alive.

I want to spill my secrets. I want to tell him here, now that I love him. But I won't, because I'm scared of what might happen.

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Hey, thank-you for reading this chapter and I really hope you enjoyed it. beyond grateful for all the support, love you all❤️ Please vote& comment on things I should add. Till next time sisters ♡