A Little Lethal

| Chapter 10 |perturbation|

Your eyes, they shine so bright
I want to save their light
I can't escape this now
Unless you show me how
~~

Jasper wrote down the report of the death of 223. He had lost a friend and the grief was a heavy weight on his chest. He wondered if he could've done something, anything to save that man.

Now he understood what the man had said about regret.

He scoffed as he noted the date. It was ironical, really, that his friend would die on that particular day.

Finishing his day's work, he was let into the prison again. He noted with disappointment that Kyros was sleeping. He didn't want to disturb the man after an already hectic day but he also didn't want to be left alone.

Not today of all days.

Reluctantly, he got onto his mattress and slipped off into the place he dreaded with all his being- the nightmares of his past.

He was out of breath, running, desperately trying to get away from his demons, even though he knew running away never solved the problem.

Rooted to one spot, Jasper watched as his life unfolded in varying shades of terror and pain.

"I feel weird when you play with us." Leo spoke, not meeting his eyes. "We don't want to do this, but it is best of you stop coming to play with us."

It hurts most coming from his best friend, the one person who has been by his side since kindergarten.

"B- but I can change myself. I'll be just like you!" He tries to change their mind, but children are stubborn with their whims.

"Can you?"

The question repeats itself time and again as he lives through his childhood friendless, an outcast, crying out a bitter cry to which no one responds.

His breathing stuttered in his throat, he can't remind himself why he felt it was a good decision to come out to his parents.

"Mom," The fifteen years old walks down the stairs, building up courage, "I need to tell you something."

His mother's gaze is warm, his father is also sitting in the room, coldly calculating eyes studying him.

"Yes child?"

"Can I tell you alone?" He might be a teenager, but inside he feels like a little boy who broke his father's most precious gold watch. But with the words that he wants to say, he might as well burn the whole house to the ground. He doesn't want his father to hear and tries to hide his discomfort, miserably failing.

"Anything you need to say, you shall say to us both."

The decisive voice rings through the room. His mother smiles sadly though her fear is clearly visible, she knows, she knew all along, but now there is nothing she can hide from the man she calls husband.

"Go on, son." The word son comes out with a sneer, the man knows, he only waits for the boy to conform it.

"I-I am not like others."

He tries to start, but his throat clogs up.

"I don't like girls, I can't like any girl."

Not a sound can be heard.

"I'm gay."

A heavy book comes hurtling straight to his forehead. He hears a scream before he passes out, but he isn't sure who screamed, his mother or him.