Truth or Dare: Trust Issues

Ch.7: Truth 1

(Tzuyu's POV)

I'm OK
Don't comfort me
You don't have to have pity on me
You don't have to stay with me, I'm fine
I'm OK
Don't worry about me
You don't have to mind about me
I'm used to be alone
I'm OK

I lie here on the guest bed of the safe house, where Chaengie is on the other side of the bed asleep. I'm thinking about the fight too much, it's unhealthy.

I don't want to hear any hopeful words
I can hardly fall asleep because the reality is to difficult to handle
I tried to find things that can fill me up, which eventually turns out to be drinks

I walked to the balcony, a soju in my hand, and the moonlight shining upon my face. Sana made me drink again, when she was the one that told me to stop my habit.

I become indifferent to any situations
Even though I'm better off by myself, loneliness hits me from time to time
Even though I want to do many different things, I become lethargic
My answer will always be a huge smile if anyone asks how I'm doing

It was a week after the fight, and I'm still struggling. Jihyo-unnie continues to ask if I'm ok. I always give her a dimpled smile and the words: "I'm Ok".

I feel like everyone has turned their back on me
I feel bad for myself, I feel so small
When I become lonely
If you ever witness my tears, please walk past by me

JYP entertainment officially announced Twice is on a hiatus because of our disappearance, and us not going to our schedules. I feel like this is my fault, so my tears started to shed. I don't care if Chaeng is asleep next to me, she knows why I'm crying anyways.

I'm OK
Don't comfort me
You don't have to have pity on me
You don't have to stay with me, I'm fine

Sana continues to try and call me, as well as the other members we left behind at the dorm that night. I listened to the other members' voicemails, and they're just pitying me. I wanna run away, leave from this reality. But I can't.

I'm OK
Don't worry about me
You don't have to mind about me
I'm used to be alone
I'm OK

Each day gets more and more sad, and gets more and more depressing. Chaeng hasn't eaten anything for about a week. I guess the breakup is setting in finally. Jihyo-unnie and Y/n don't have to worry about me, cause I was alone when I first came here to Korea.

I don't want to hear any hopeful words
Why is everyone making it a big deal when I'm fine?

I got a call from Momo unnie today. She says that we should go back to the dorm, because they all miss us. She said she's sorry for assuming I was cheating on her best friend, and that Sana's sorry as well. I don't need to know she's sorry after a couple of months. I'm ok, it wasn't that bad. Especially since we didn't really "break-up".

My breakup was a bit tough, left me with a small scratch

I know it is going to be way better after a day or two

Three more months. Three more months have passed, and I still haven't heard from Sana herself. All her messages and apologies are coming from the other members. I made the decision to send a letter with Jihyo-unnie and Y/n today, because they decided to go check on the others. Chaeng was out driving around the town, because she got her license and a car now. On the letter was a thank you to Sana, for loving me, but I can't keep up. To sum it up, I broke up with her. Because communication is key, and we haven't talked since the fight even happened. I'll be okay tomorrow, because I felt like I relieved myself.

Silence means "please be happy"
Tears mean "I truly loved you"
I won't die just because she left me, so please don't look at me as if you're looking at someone who's dying.

The room was once again filled with silence, the only noise was the slight snore from Chaeyoung. The moon was bright, and it shone upon my tear-stained face. There is only one emotion present: Pain. I've been silent since the fight because I want her to be happy. I cry to myself knowing that I truly love her, even though we're not together anymore. Everyone sees me as a dying soul, while I feel like one. The pain is too much to bear...I need a drink.....