notepad ; malum

03

Michael couldn't find Calum anywhere in the school, so there was only one other place he could be and honestly, it would've been smarter to check there first. The soccer field. And sure enough, when Michael pushed open the door that led out to the field, Calum was there, messing around with a soccer ball. 

Calum always looked so happy when he was playing soccer, Michael thought to himself. He could watch him play all day even if he didn't know the slightest thing about soccer, just because watching the boy be happy was enough. 

Calum seemed oblivious to Michael's presence, so Michael just took a seat on the bleachers as Calum bounced the ball from one ankle to the other. Then he bounced it up onto his knee, then his chest, then his head and as it began to fall down, Calum booted it as hard as he could just to see where it would land. 

Michael couldn't see where it had went but then it hit him. Literally.

The ball bounced off Michael's head and onto the grass as Michael hid his head in his arms and cried out in pain. Calum had covered his mouth when he first realized what he'd done but was now running over to Michael to make sure he was ok. 

Calum removed Michael's arms from covering his head, looking directly into Michael's green orbs which were brimmed with tears. He quickly brought Michael into his arms as a way of apologizing since he didn't have his notepad to write one billion sorry's. 

Michael dug his face into Calum's shoulder. "I feel stupid for crying over this, but it really hurts." He mumbled against his shoulder. 

Calum pulled away and shook his head quickly. Then he pulled Michael up, leading him back inside of the school. He felt practically naked without his trooper hat and his notepad, but he had to make Michael feel better because seeing him in pain caused Calum twice the amount of pain. 

They walked down the hall to the nurses office where there was a little freezer she kept ice packs in. Calum took one out, wrapped a paper towel around it and then handed it to Michael. Michael smiled- despite the small tears finding their ways down Michael's face, and put the ice pack against the newly forming goose egg on his head. 

The two sat in the infirmary in silence, Calum occasionally sending Michael an apologetic look. It was a comfortable silence. Calum loved Michael's presence. It made him warm and happy and confident. 

Just as Calum thought it'd be a good idea to give Michael another hug, someone walked through the open door. And of course, it was Jace. 

"Mike, are you alright?" He gasped, rushing to Michael's side and killing Calum's hugging plans. 

Michael nodded, switching the hand that was holding his ice pack to his head. "Yeah, Cal just accidentally hit me with his soccer ball. There's probably a goose egg or something there but I'm alright." 

Jace looked over at Calum like he had just noticed he was in the room. "Wow, you actually have hair under your hat." He bluntly said, a hint of rudeness gracing his tone. 

Calum flushed and awkwardly looked down. He hated not wearing his hat while he was doing regular things. It made him feel out of place and just wrong. 

After an awkward silence fell over them, Jace sighed. "Well, be more careful. My Michael is very precious." He announced, giving Michael a disgustingly messy kiss on the lips. 

Calum felt himself practically fume at those words. Michael wasn't his, Michael was Calum's. He wished he could tell Jace that, then also punch him in the face for being ignorant. Unfortunately, he couldn't because number one, he couldn't speak and number two, he could get a detention for punching Jace which would mean no soccer. 

So, Calum just shrugged as if to say sorry. 

Jace grinned and lifted Michael up bridal style. "C'mon, babe." He said almost demandingly, beginning to walk out the door. 

Calum watched them and he's glad he did because this time, something interesting happened. Michael looked back at him. Michael usually completely forgot Calum existed when Jace was around, but this time he was looking back at him over his shoulder with a sad expression and damn- it made Calum's heart flutter. 

+

Calum had been sitting on his bed, rethinking everything all afternoon. 

When he saw Jace and Michael walk away, he felt something he could finally put his finger on. Longing, jealousy, want, need. He wanted to be the one carrying Michael home when he was hurt, he wanted to be the one to cuddle Michael until he felt better, he wanted to be the one to kiss Michael and tell him everything would be alright and most of all, he wanted to tell Michael he romantically loved him and have Michael tell him it back. 

It was so weird to think that he was possibly in love with his best friend. It was even weirder that he was a guy. It wasn't weird because Calum was homophobic or anything, but Calum was straight. Calum liked girls. 

'I don't like him.' Calum repeatedly told himself in his head. 'I like boobs, female... parts, being the dominant one in the relationship. Then again, Michael's always the submissive in his and Jace's relationship...'

Calum threw himself down on his bed, burying his face into his pillow and exhaling loudly. What was he thinking? Even if he did admit to himself he liked Michael, that didn't change the fact that Michael was in a relationship. 

Minutes later, Calum started to stain his pillow with tears. Why did this have to be so difficult? Calum thought he'd had it hard enough with his voice had been taken away. Now he was possibly in love with his guy best friend who was not single when Calum was straight? 

Frustrated sobs left Calum's lips and he was extremely glad this was the night his parents left him and his sister home alone and his sister had decided to go out. 

He let himself cry for what seemed like hours. His phone had rang and buzzed from text messages several times, but Calum ignored them. They were probably Michael, which made him want to ignore them even more. 

When he finally calmed down, Calum sat back up and stared out his open window across the room. 

'Only way to get over Michael?' He thought to himself. 

'Get a girlfriend.'