My Best Friend's Brother {Jungkook FF}

13. Mother, I'm Sorry

As soon as I got into my house I quickly put some dishes in the dishwasher so Jungkook doesn't think I'm a snob.

I keep wiping my eyes every time I think of my mother. I feel like such a bitch, I was disrespectful and rude, I hated her so much I couldn't even see the signs, the signs that she was sick. And now it's too late, and that's the worst part.

It's too late to stop everything and start over, it's too late to have one conversation where we don't fight, it's just too late. There's a knock at the door and it snaps me out of my depressing thoughts.

I quickly jog over to the small front door and pull it open. "Hi, thank you for coming" I say as I gesture him into the house.

He and I walk down the long hallway and into the kitchen, before I can ask if he wants something to drink he pulls me into his chest. "I'm so sorry" is all he says and I wrap my arms around his small waist.

Before I know it, tears are drenching his long white shirt and I just keep crying into his chest. "I feel like such a bitch, ever since my mom left me I've been acting like such a child. I ignored her, I yelled at her, I miss-treated her and now it's all too late to take it back" I cry into his shoulder and he grabs my face to make me look him in the eyes. I look down, I can't look at him. It'll make me cry even more, I don't want that.

"Hey, look at me" he says and grips my chin. "Look at me, none of this is your fault. You were upset, your mother hurt you and you have every right to act the way you did. I'm so sorry, but you didn't do anything wrong. If you did something wrong she wouldn't have called you and told you" he says lowly while rubbing my cheek.

My tears can't stop falling and I'm not breathing properly. I hug him quickly and forcefully. I need that comfort, I need his comfort.

He picks me up by my thighs and walks over to the couch, setting me down and I pull him towards me once again. I dig my face into his neck and I smell the manly cologne he has on.

"You smell good" I say and he chuckles. I lift my head to look at his face and his eyes meet mine. My heart skips a beat and I can't stop staring into his eyes.

I look down at his lips and he smiles softly before gripping my chin and pulling me into a passionate kiss. I kiss back almost instantly and he smiles.

As our lips move against each others I start to remember what's happening with him and I. Being me, I don't know what to do so I just slowly stop reacting to his passionate kisses.

He opens his eyes and furrows his eyebrows, I slowly pull away from him and his grasp on my chin loosens. "Is everything okay?" He questions and I just shake my head. "Do you not want to kiss me?" He sounds somewhat offended and I start to feel guilty.

"No, no I do want to kiss you. It's just that we have to talk about things first." I say in an apologetic tone and he nods and looks away. "But I can't talk about it right now.. not when I'm dealing with my mother"

He looks at me and smiles "it's okay, I'm just here to help you through this, we don't have to talk about us until you want to."

"Thank you"

—

My mother sent me the visiting hours about a day ago and today she texted me saying I could come and see her. I feel sick while driving through the parking lot.

I walk down the hallway and this time when I reach her room my stepdad isn't there. Thank fuck.

I step inside the room and my mother is laying there, eyes closed and she looks so much paler than the last time I saw her.

I don't even know how sick she is, if it's treatable or if it's too late. She hasn't told me anything and I'm starting to lose hope every step I take towards her.

"Mom?" I whisper and she stirs in her sleep before clenching and unclenching her fists. I can't help to think that she is awake and just doesn't want to talk to me.

"Mom?"

"Y/n, I'm trying to sleep." She says and I furrow my eyebrows.

"Then why did you ask me to come here if you're not even going to talk me?" I say, frustrated.

"Our relationship is what it is, you cannot change it now, I don't want to change it. I'm on the third stage of cancer and I can barely talk, so if you think talking is an option you're wrong" she says spitefully, why the fuck did she ask me to come here then?

I'm so annoyed with her, I'm trying to say goodbye in a good way, but she's being such a mother freakin child and doesn't want to say goodbye to me.

"Fine" is all I say. "I brought you flowers but it doesn't seem like you want anything to do with me." I take steps towards the door and I hear her cough.

"I'm sorry, mom" is all I say and she starts coughing again. I leave the room and tears form in my eyes. But I don't let them fall.

As I get into the car I feel like the whole world is crashing down on me. I'm ruining shit with Jungkook, my mother, my stepdad. I have no idea what I'm going to do, my boss is on the verge of firing me because of how many days I've been taking off.

Bitch there's something called holiday pay.

But obviously my stupid boss that doesn't know fruits, also doesn't know that. I cover my forehead with my hand and my breath gets heavy.

My mother's days are numbered, and she doesn't want to see me. She hasn't said anything about funerals or life insurance or nothing. She doesn't want to talk to me.

I tried to apologise but she's not being the older one and fucking giving me a chance for the last few days of her life.

I really don't know what to feel.