My Best Friend's Brother {Jungkook FF}

16. Baby

I thanked the lady on the phone, she sounded sympathetic. I don't want to break down right now. I want to hold on in my feelings until I'm ready to feel the pain.

But I can't hold in my tears as they start trickling down my cheeks. My breathing is becoming heavy and my hands are shaking.

I'm having a panic attack. But I don't know how to stop it. I can't stop my breathing and all I can think about is how my mother is gone, I have no one.

No one to help me anymore, even if she was a bad mother she was still my mother. So I don't care what people say about her. She raised me, I am who I am because of her. She didn't deserve this, she doesn't deserve this.

I keep wailing and crying, my breathing intensifies, I don't know how to calm down, I can't calm down. I try to breathe in slowly but it's not working.

I'm sitting on the floor next to my couch. I don't know what to do to calm down. If I don't do something now I could faint.

I quickly scramble to grab my phone off of the couch and unlock it, going to my contacts and clicking his contact number. It rings for a second and he picks up.

"Y/n?" He asks, relief in his voice.

"J-Jungkook" I say weakly and my breathing if escalating.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" He panics and I start sobbing.

"I need you here, please can you come over? I-I know I was being rude b-but I need you her-" he cuts me off.

"I'm coming okay? Try breathing slowly for me?" I listen and try slowing down my breathing but it's not working.

Memories are popping up in my head. The good times with my mother. It's all coming back and guilt starts to eat at me and it's making it worse.

"I'm coming okay?" He ends the call and my hands are searching for something to hold on to. I grab onto the arm of the couch and sob into it.

All I can do is wait for Jungkook, my mother's face keeps popping up in my mind and I can't handle it. This is all my fault. If I wasn't such a bitch I could've realised that she was sick, I could've saved her before it was too late.

I sit close to the couch, the door is unlocked and my heart hurts when I hear a car pull up at the front.
The door bursts open and I see Jungkook rushing in the house, we make eye contact and he quickly walks over to me.

Taking me into his embrace. My head hurts and I start breathing heavily again. My hands shake as I try to wrap my arms around him.

"Baby, Baby- look at me." He says and I don't listen, digging my face into his chest. "Breathe baby, breathe for me okay?" He says and starts breathing slowly, inhaling and exhaling.

I follow his example and start breathing slowly, my heart beat starts slowing down and he takes my chin for me to look at him.

"What happened?" I can't answer right now, other wise I'll start crying again. I just shake my head hoping he'll understand. "Okay.." he says lowly and tightens his arms around me.

Jungkook rubs my hair slowly, calming me down. He kisses the top of my head multiple times before picking me up.

He brings me to my room and lays me down. I lay there weakly and he pulls the covers over me. I weakly smile at him and he smiles back, taking my hand and kissing it.

Butterflies erupt in my stomach, but quickly dying when I see him turning around. "Where are you going?" Is the first thing I ask.

He turns around and looks at me. "You want me to go?" He asks and I furrow my eyebrows.

"When did I say that?"

"Well, we're not on the greatest terms and I know you called me to help you calm down. It's okay, I'll go" he says and before he can take another step I grab his arm.

"Please stay." I question weakly and he looks shocked, but soon smiling and crawling under the covers next to me.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" He asks. I know I should tell him but I don't want to break down anymore than I did before. He has a right to know though.

"My mother.." I trail off "She passed away two nights ago" I say and he looks at me and then pulls me closer to him.

"I'm so sorry." He says and kisses my cheek. I burry my head into his chest as I start to feel tears.

"She didn't even ask me to see her!" I shout angrily and he pulls me more. "She said she didn't want to see me! Does she hate me that much? Am I that bad?" I ask and all he does is shake his head multiple times.

"No, you're perfect baby. Don't say that." I start sobbing into his chest and he lays there.

"If I wasn't such an asshole to her I could've realised that she was sick! I'm so stupid, this is my fault.." I cry and he freezes up.

"This is not your fault, okay?" He asks. "I know you're upset and I'm so sorry, but this is not your fault."

—

I wake up the next morning, feeling strong arms wrapped around me, I stir slightly which makes him slowly open his eyes.

I feel so empty, even though he's right here I feel so lonely and tired. My eyes are heavy and I probably look like a baboon.

His hands slide up my body and towards my cheek, resting his hand there. Slowly rubbing his thumb against my cheek and I close my eyes at the sensation. This is what I need right now.

Even though we had a fight, maybe we can sort it out. Even so, I love the thought of knowing he's my boyfriend. Maybe people don't agree with it, but I know that he is mine to deal with.

"I'm sorry." I say and he sighs. "I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions, and then asking you to come over.."

"No I want you to ask me to come over, I didn't know how to apologise because you weren't answering or letting me come over" he grabs my hand. "I just didn't want you to think that I was using you, because I'm not"

"I know.. I was just upset" I sigh and he lets out a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry about your mother" I don't reply. I'm thankful he came over last night. I start thinking about how he got here yesterday and he called me Baby.. baby. I like that name.

I smile softly, and he looks at me confused. "Why are you smiling?" He smiles back and I push at his chest, suddenly shy.

"What is it?" He pokes my stomach and I stir under the covers. "Huh?"

I start laughing hysterically when he tickles me. "Okay okay!" I say and he stops. "I was just thinking about yesterday.." he nods and I keep going.

"When you called me.. baby" I say and he looks shocked.

"I don't have to call you that if you want, I'm sorr-" I cut him off.

"No! I like it" I say shyly.

"Do you?" He teases and I blush. "Baby?" Fuck, my cheeks hurt. I can't stop smiling and he knows he got to me.

"Yes?"