Chapter Twenty-two

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Nancy and Linnea both looked at me as if they expected me to say it was just some kind of bad joke. I didn't have the strength or the desire to go through the usual disbelief followed by the same old stupid questions so I just decided to get it out of the way.

"No, it's not I joke. I met Jake at the LGBT center in Spokane. He recognized me from in town and asked about me. I said they could give him my contact information. And before you ask, I haven't had surgery. It's scheduled for February in Pennsylvania. It's also why I had Joann say I worked for her, because most of my work history is in my old name. That's the only thing I've lied about other than Jake visiting me about staying together. I didn't want to cause more trouble, I'm sorry! Are you happy now?"

I pulled again and this time was able to break free from Nancy's grasp who was still trying to process the information. Her face was expressionless so I couldn't read her.

"Jake's queer? Linnea asked looking at Nancy as if expecting her to confirm it. All she was met with was silence. "Det förklarar saker! (That explains things) Linnea mumbled to herself almost making me believe that my fears were unjustified.

"I don't even know what to say... you were born male?

Nancy words were low almost as if she was talking to herself. I crossed my arms when a shiver traveled up my spine. Suddenly, I felt cold.

"Look on the bright side: when you divorce Jake, it will be better for ya both. I guess it's really not his fault for being such an ass, being closeted tends to do that with you Americans."

" He's been fucking lying to me the whole time!" Nancy practically yelled leaving me no doubts about others picking up on this conversation. Nancy and Linnea was two more than I had planned on coming out to tonight.

This is how it always goes. Perhaps coming out when shit had already hit the fan is the better route. That way you're ready for it. No surprises that always happens right when you think everything is going so well. The whole waiting for "the perfect time" is a load of shit! There never is. The only thing that happens is you have a hell of a lot further to fall when you get knocked off your cloud. Well fuck this! Joann was one thing, I wasn't going to take it from Nancy too.

"Ya know, that's really funny coming from you, Nancy. When the hell was I supposed to tell you? When you tried killing me at my house? Sorry, you left before I got the chance. I know! At the bar when I couldn't even breathe. Or what about when you've been going on about us being mates? I wasn't even given a choice about all this so don't blame me! At least Jake gave me that."

Same old shit! I took several deep breaths trying to calm down. This was pointless.I started walking back down the road as fast as I could in these stupid heels without falling over. I wasn't about to give her the satisfaction of taking them off in front of her.

"Where are you going?" I heard Nancy call from behind me.

"I'll find another way back." Where the fuck do you think I'm going? Certainly not with you. Was what I wanted to tell her. Of course, I was to much of a coward to tell her that. No matter how hurt I was I did want to continue to enjoy solid foods. Coming out to guys before was scary enough with them being just human. Nancy could seriously hurt me without meaning to and her emotions right now couldn't be trusted.

Without making a sound she was behind me, grabbing my arm and forcing me to turn and face her making me fear that I had pushed her too far.

"You're being absolutely ridiculous if you think I'm going to just let you walk away. This isn't the place for you to try and be...whatever the fuck this is. Now get your ass in the truck! You've drawn more than enough attention already."

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