Spice of Love

Chapter 18

It was not a good start of the day that Mark woke up with a terrible headache. It was just seven in the morning and he closed his eyes again to sleep a little more, so that the splitting headache would be shut down for a while.

He was in his room; he remembered giving the taxi driver this address yesterday. And he had been drunk.

Shit. Mark sat up straight on his bed in misery as he now could recall most of what had happened yesterday.

He had been with a girl and they had left the club together. And Jinyoung. Mark ran his hands through his hair in frustration with himself.

Jinyoung had been there, he remembered, and trying to take him, to his room. And had they argued?

Mark slumped back on the bed in agony as everything of last night came back to him more and more clearly. Everything just before he had passed out in Jinyoung's arms.

And the kiss! He had kissed Jinyoung and forcefully as well. But he had been angry and was still now, with himself.

Mark slowly got out of the bed and headed for the bathroom to clean himself. He must admit that he looked like a real drunk; staring at his own reflection in the mirror, he ran his fingers over his unshaven face and stubble over his lips.

For the first time in a few days, he cleaned himself and shaved his face properly.

Jinyoung was there having his breakfast when Mark entered the kitchen. The former looked up at him but then turned his eyes away immediately.

Mark's face was heated at the memory of last night but then the conscience that Jinyoung had let Jackson kiss him as well, frustrated him.

None of them spoke and Mark went straight to the fridge to see if there was something he could have as breakfast.

Bread and butter would do. And he needed to drink something to soothe his headache.

When he turned to the kitchen counter, Jinyoung was by the sink washing the plates. Making up his mind, Mark approached him, his heart beating fast in nervousness.

"Hmm, Jinyoung."

No reply came and Mark stood just beside Jinyoung, mindlessly watching the latter washing the plates.

"I'm sorry."

Jinyoung turned off the tap and turned to Mark.

"Sorry, sorry for what? Sorry for bringing a girl or for kissing me? Oh, you might not even remember that." Mark noticed anger was laced in Jinyoung's words.

"Sorry for troubling you and being rude to you," Mark exhaled, "I remember almost everything from last night. Did you persuade her to leave?"

This time Jinyoung was heated. What if Mark assumed he had been jealous? Like he had no strength to see Mark with someone else.

"I hope you'd find a more decent girl to fuck," Jinyoung turned away and finished washing his plates, before placing them in the cupboard.

Mark reached for Jinyoung's shoulders to turn Jinyoung back to face him.

"Aren't you going to ask me about the kiss? Like why I kissed you? I remember everything, Jinyoung, and I...," Mark could not utter his real feelings.

"I have nothing to ask. If you could kiss me, like a mistake, when you were sober, the drunk you would be even more capable of that. Don't apologise to me Mark. It just means nothing to me."

"Jinyoung ah, I wasn't, I...You don't know, Jinyoung. How can I make you understand?"

Jinyoung's hands removed Mark's hands from his shoulders but Mark tightened his grip, instead.

Their eyes were set on each other and no more words came out. Jinyoung let out a frustrated sigh.

"You know, Mark, you confuse me. You sometimes act like you're suffering from something, I don't know what, and sometimes like you have no feelings. I can't understand you."

"And I don't want you to understand me, Jinyoung. If you know more about me. If you realise what's going on with me, how I'm feeling everything I'm not supposed to, I'm not sure you'll be here any longer. Because it will disgust you."

Jinyoung's heart softened to hear how broken Mark sounded and he longed to caress Mark's face to comfort him, although he had no idea what Mark was hiding from him or suffering from.

"Why would it disgust me?"

"Because you'll find that I - I...," Mark bit his lip, "I can't say anymore. It won't change anything," Mark pursed and tried to compose himself, "By the way, congratulations on your relationship with Jackson. Guess, he'd have killed me if he had known I'd kissed his boyfriend twice."

Mark faked his laugh and Jinyoung narrowed his brows.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play with me, Jinyoung. I know you two are boyfriends now."

Mark loosened his hands and let go of Jinyoung. He grabbed the plates of bread and butter from the kitchen counter and walked out of the kitchen.

Jinyoung was left in a daze and tried to process what Mark had just said.

"Mark!" Jinyoung called and Mark, who was just at the entrance of the kitchen, stopped and turned his head back at Jinyoung.

"You're wrong," Jinyoung uttered and did not miss Mark's brows rising in question.

"What is wrong?"

But Jinyoung pondered and then changed his mind; and shook his head, "Nothing. Sorry."

Mark had puzzled him even more than before and Jinyoung realised that there were a lot of things he had no idea of, about Mark.

But Mark was wrong, Jinyoung thought, to think Jinyoung would disgust him if he knew more about Mark.

It seemed everything was complicated and Jinyoung wanted to have some rest from all of this.

He cleaned himself and changed into a gray button-down shirt with long sleeves, and style pants. The look which his parents had always said suited him the best. His missed them and at such time like this, he wanted their comfort. But it was all impossible.

"Going out?" Mark asked Jinyoung just as the latter came out of the room. "Where?"

"Cemetery."

Mark looked at him, a bit confused.

"My parents," Jinyoung added it himself, "Hope to see you in the evening if you are not to disappear again."

Mark held Jinyoung's wrist to stop him from taking any steps.

"I want to accompany you."

Jinyoung was reluctant; he would prefer being alone there.

"Sorry," Mark let go of Jinyoung's hand, "You might want to be alone."

"You can come with me if you want to." There would be no regret, Jinyoung hoped.

"Okay. I'll change into something else." Mark returned to his room quickly and left Jinyoung to wonder at himself how he had become such a yielding person. Who knew, Mark might be all exceptions in his life, like just now, him letting Mark accompany to a place where he would never have taken anyone. Except Mark.