Malice

-11

-Reagan-

"I could get used to this, you know?" 

It was my second day hiding out at Nathan Monroe's house. I just couldn't bring myself to face John again yet. It hurt enough just thinking about everything and besides, Nathan was the perfect distraction; from the morning sex, to watching him cook for me and now, I sat across from him at his small dining table having a feast for a breakfast. Oh, and I couldn't forget about Rocky who sat at our feet, tail wagging, waiting for a crumb to be dropped. 

"Used to what?" I asked, looking over the rim of my coffee mug at the tall, dark and tatted knight who was too fucking perfect. If only I had met him years ago; instead of right in the middle of my hectic life. I knew what he was referring to. This. What we were doing and had been for two days now. 

"You. Waking up here, having breakfast together..." Kissing him goodbye for work. Speaking of work, it was something I needed to get back to. Quickly, today. I was right there with him though. This was something I would love to get used to but I think he knew just as well as I knew that I wasn't just going to pack up my life in a suitcase and move in. No matter how livid I felt towards my husband right now. 

"It would be so much more simpler," I divulged and then got caught up in the fantasy for a moment. I wouldn't have to worry about John or Theodora. Oh her, that poor woman. Every time I thought of her all I could see was a beautiful face, battered and beaten. And then of course, I seen her as a woman who had given my husband a child. My feelings towards her were so conflicted. I wanted to feel sorry for her but then  I just wanted to hate her with everything in me. 

"It's not impossible, Reagan," Nathan pointed out then, bringing me out of my own thoughts. It was an invitation for a better life. A healthier life. But damn him, didn't he know that I loved John? Some stupid part of my heart was where John was. I couldn't...not yet. 

"I know." I actually shifted under his hazel stare. Tore my gaze away from his handsome, faultless face and stood up. I had to get away from the direction this conversation was going. Rocky followed me all the way into the kitchen where I put my plate in the sink. I needed to go home and check on my own animal, shower and change into something suitable for the office. 

"I'm sorry, I just don't see what is keeping you there." When I turned around, Nathan was leaning against the door frame, shirtless, frowning. Ugh, a major distraction. One that wanted an explanation. 

"Because that's where my life is, Nathan. It's a little dysfunctional right now but-" 

"A little? Come on, Reagan. Your husband hits you and he's having children with other women." 

"Thank you, for that." It was like getting stung in the heart by a hornet. For the millionth time. Again. What he was asking for was commitment and look how well things had turned out the first time I had committed to someone. Not only that, I'd known him for like five seconds. I could see it on his face, he wanted to apologize but he didn't. For what, anyway? He was right. "I've gotta go," I announced before I called him an asshole and things got messy. I expected him to stop me on my way passed him but he didn't. 

Rocky followed me all the way down the hall and into the bedroom, where I basically ripped Nathan's t-shirt off and started to dress in my own clothes. Clothes that I had already washed twice in his washer. The escape had been good while it had lasted but I needed to step back into my reality, yes the one where my husband was having children with other women. Or woman...Theodora. 

When I made it back to the front of the house, the table was cleared and Nathan was waiting for me by his front door. He was smart not to try and stop me or push the subject about leaving my husband further. I didn't have the time or brain energy. I had showings to catch up on. I let him pull me against him, wanted him to. "I'm here for you, Reagan." Is all he said, looking down at me with eyes that I adored greatly in any position they were staring at me from. Even when tension was thick.