Malice

-17

-John- 

"...Mind if I sit here?" 

It really was too early to be in a hotel bar and throwing back Scotches like water. This had become the norm. Work, write-when I could-and drink. Anything to get away from what my life had become. I could hardly stand to be at home...I could hardly stand to be at Theo's. How long had it been since I was there? A few weeks. Not since I learned about her new love affair. Did it even fucking surprise me that the guy was married? 

Dazed from the liquor, I looked over at the Brunette with her long hair and perfectly proportioned face. "I don't see why not." I gave her a shrug and then gave my drink my full attention again. 

She wouldn't do...There was just something about a blonde that could really reel me in. The two that were my life were currently unavailable. Was I a bastard for not wanting my cock inside of Reagan? Not with that fucking baby inside of her. My thoughts on the matter were always dark. I couldn't trust myself around my wife. It took everything in me not to snap. There was a reason why I had gotten clipped and she was never supposed to find out about that. 

My hand tightened around the glass. Why couldn't she have just fucking let it go? Had to run to that male and beg him to put a baby inside of her. The one thing I was supposed to have complete control of-my wife-and I had managed to fail. 

"I swear I've seen you before." The woman spoke up a few minutes later after ordering a Gin and Tonic. I scoffed and passed her one hell of a sideways glance. She was trying to hard. I didn't like that. I thought of Theo then...she hadn't tried at all. She had laughed in my face...and we had both seen where that had gotten her...Under me, over me, her entire world being rocked in one night. And then pregnant. 

"I don't think so. You would have remembered me." 

Her finely waxed brow lifted at my reply and she laughed. "You're so sure." 

"I am." Her face fell and she looked away from me. Any other time I would have let her live with the rejection but I'd been in my head for days now and something needed to be done about it..."Do you want to remember me?" I asked her then and turned in the stool...gave her my full attention. She didn't answer right away. The look on her face was all I needed. 

My head was starting to pound and the soft whimpers that were coming from the brunette was only making it worse. The hotel room was lit dimly as I sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, flexing my hands. It had only satiated things for a little bit -I hadn't felt the sex. The sex had just been to make things more bearable for her. And then that sinister feeling that had become a part of me was slowly arising again. 

I needed more but I couldn't go there. Not yet. Not after I had nearly been exposed after the college girl. Thanks to Theo and her place in the homicide department, that hadn't happened-She was still giving me shit about 'having fun' without her. Maybe that was why she was spending so much of her time with someone else now. My punishment. 

  As I leaned down and grabbed my slacks, I fought the urge to tell her to shut up. Once my pants were on, I turned around and looked down at her. Tears streaked her cheeks, one eye leaked red and the beginnings of bruises shown on her face. Down her collarbone, and I was sure her breasts too but she had the sheet pulled over herself tight. Hair that had been so straight was now messed. 

I'd lost it. I'd been thinking of Reagan...and Theo. 

"That was nice." I said and couldn't stop the smile. When I reached out to wipe at her tears she jerked away from me. The pure horror in her eyes was enough to get me going again. Shit. I had to leave. While I finished dressing, her whimpers had gone away. She was just staring ahead...probably regretting ever saying a word to me. Good.