I saw her, descending down the stairs looking no less than a goddess. Her beauty cannot be compared to anyone. She was one that could make your heart stop by just one look of hers. Her olive coloured skin was shining. She looked absolutely gorgeous in that dress. It was true that she is the most beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on.
I know I did her wrong but I couldn't have done anything else. I just couldn't control myself but I somewhere knew deep inside I had to do it. I cannot make her see me as a friend or a nice person or someone she can love. She should hate me. Yes!! She should! I am not someone who is worthy of her love yet everytime I see her I feel I did very wrong.
I still remember the first day I saw her. She was at her friend's home, Venissa. Yes...I did know everything about Bella. She is an innocent soul, she didn't even know what all is planned by the people she loves behind her back.
I saw her smiling and her smile is like no other girl. Seeing her smiling I felt like the hole in my heart filled up. I felt something.... something I couldn't name seeing her smile. And then she laughed, she threw her head back and laughed... I couldn't tear my eyes off her as she laughed.
I kidnapped her, I had to.....there were reasons.... reasons which are better left undiscussed. And that's why I kept a tab on her. I followed her for days noticing in and seeing what she does everyday. I kept an eye on her daily routine and then decided that I would kidnap her on her way back home from her maths classes. I told Luca to do so. And he did that, he had to...he was a member of the gang afterall.
But that day when I saw her in that room, I lost my senses. She looked so innocent. And then I noticed she was crying, she was scared and terrified of me. But there was this fire...anger in her eyes. I could see it. She wanted answers.
I moved closer to her but she backed away. It was then I saw what was happening....I was automatically drawn to her, my feet moved on their own not following my orders to stay where they were. I pinned her down. I had no thoughts to do anything but when I kissed her, it felt good, heavenly. I couldn't stop and then the fact crossed my mind that I wanted her, I liked her. Hell! I don't even know it was only liking or something much more......but in that moment I knew I couldn't do that. She was innocent and pure while me.... I...I was a monster. I could never be worth her. The moment my hand made contact with her skin, my lips touched her neck all other thoughts abandoned my mind. I lost myself for that moment, my worries vanished. But the word that slipped from her mouth brought me back to reality. It was only then I took in what I did! I was close, so close....I could have...
But in that moment I looked in her eyes, I saw a broken girl, she wanted answers to the questions I couldn't tell her, I cannot hurt her more than she already was. I wanted to comfort her, to tell her that she was safe here but how could I? I did her more damage than anything else....I should have felt fine, that was what I wanted, right?
I wanted her to hate me and in that very moment she did hate me... but the pain that I felt in my chest spoke something else.
I couldn't see her like this and I knew if I stayed there for a second more..I would lose control. So I moved out of her room.
She would think of me as a monster and she should because I cannot have her. She is not someone for me. She is soft and fragile just like a flower and if the people who hate me knew about something like this, they would definitely take an advantage of the situation. A Mafia leader falling in love.... impossible!
But there was something about her...it was like she brought some sanity inside me. I thought of apologizing for the mistake I committed but I couldn't bring myself to do it. My anger flared up and I needed to calm down so I moved to the room where I had this Russian man locked. He denied answer to how he entered my territory so I pulled in my methods of pushing answers out of his mouth. And after that he did answer.
