Oak's mute

Denial

Oak and I decided to stay here in California and find a new home that's big enough for our growing family. I lay beside Oak rubbing his shoulders "I love you, you know that right?" He turns facing me and I nod rubbing his chest down to his stomach and backup again. His hand rests on my belly feeling the twins kick "I can't wait to see them" I smile then the triplets start crying. Oak helps me up and we both go to the baby room to fix them baby formula. After feeding and changing their diaper we went back to bed.
Today I'm going grocery shopping by myself without Oak or the babies. The babies are in daycare while Oak is at work I wince at the kicking and continue shopping. "Are you ok ma'am" I look behind me and blush nodding yes. He smiles and looks at my belly "wow you're growing! How far are you?" My phone buzzes and I get text from Oak saying that he left his job early and that we will talk about it later. I didn't answer his question instead I wave bye and finish my shopping. Oak already picked up the kids so I went straight to the house and put away the groceries. I go upstairs and find him drinking again, why does he keep doing this to himself? I walk  up to him and straddle him taking the bottle away "you're so hot when you're pissed. It turns me on" he tries to lean and kiss me but I push him away getting up "Lyra give it back" he gets up stumbling "Lyra give me the bottle I really need it" I frown shaking my head no. 'What is wrong with you?" He rolls his eyes "surprise, surprise you're worried about me again. I'm pissed Lyra! I'm stressed I'm so fucking stressed and I'm tired" He looks like he's about to cry. I quickly lay in the bed and rest his head on my lap "Lyra I love you so much" Oak has anxiety so sometimes he would break down for no reason or get angry. "I'm sorry" I kiss his forehead then he sits up as I rub on his chest and he gently kiss my lips. Our lips move in sync his tongue slips between my lips and we start making out and I go to his neck. He grabs my hand and and rest it down on his erection. "Please" he moves my hand on him and I kiss him one last time then I pull his work pants off and pull mine off but he stops me. "No just your hand I'm not sober enough for that" I move my hand up and down on his shaft slowly. As he moans I glide my tongue up his base to the tip. "Dammit Lyra I'm so close" he starts pumping into my mouth as I swirl my tongue on his tip. "Fu-fuck Lyra" His warm seed spills into my mouth and I instantly swallow every drop. "I love you, I love you and our children" he says slipping his boxers back on then he falls asleep.
I wake up in the middle of the night feeling a lot of pain on my sides. His breathing becomes faster and more panicked I sit up and start tapping at him. I rub up and down his body as I plant kisses up his chest then his chin. I go to his neck and I feel his hand go up my back "thank you" he kisses my forehead and gets up "I'm going to the gym" 'but it's 3 in the morning the gym doesn't open until 9' "our gym the one in the basement" I nod. I get out of bed as well "where are you going?" I put on my shorts 'I want to go with you' he hates when I go down to the gym while I'm pregnant because I might hurt myself. 'I won't mess with anything just my exercise ball. It's been a while since I exercised' he smiles "alright" after brushing my teeth I went to the basement with Oak. "Ok baby you ready?" I nod my head holding the ball up and start doing squats while Oak stood behind me to support me and make sure I don't hurt myself.
After my squats I watch Oak exercise for a bit then I decide to go back to my room so I can shower. "Hey baby" I turn around and see Oak behind him. 'You're done already?' He wraps his arms around me "yup joining you in the shower is better than being stuck in the basement lifting weights." He reaches for my soap and sponge and start washing my back. Our door to the bathroom opens revealing the girls and Oak quickly covers his lower half "what are you girls doing up so early?" Oak asks "Caine was crying" was? "Oak kisses my cheek "I'll be back alright?" I grab his arm worried "Caine is fine I checked him a few minutes ago before I came in here. He probably wants a little attention like always." I nod and he goes after drying off and getting dressed. I finish cleaning myself off and put on a robe. I walk to the baby room, but Oak stops me "hey baby" I try going in but he blocks me 'Oak what's going on?' I start to panic 'why won't you let me see him? I want to see my baby? Why won't you let me see him?' I hear a sirens close to the house and the front door opening. Oak hugs me "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" what is he talking about? Why is he apologizing? Two cops come up stairs along with the paramedics. 'What's wrong with Caine?' They go into the baby room and I go into chock when I see Caine's lifeless body. "Lyra look at me" I don't listen to him instead I chase the paramedics down and take my baby out their tiny black bag. "Ma'am you have to give him to us" I shake my head no and rubbed his head to comfort him. "Ma'am please-" Oak comes up behind me "can you give her a few minutes to cope with this?" They nod and let me be. 'He's not dead' "Lyra don't do this to yourself" I look at Oak 'he's just in a deep sleep, he's dreaming... would if I'm sleep and just dreaming about this? My psychiatrist did say I've been stressed a lot and that causes me to dream about this kind of stuff. I just need to wake up" he wraps his arms around "baby you're not dreaming this is real" I shake my head 'he's sleeping Caine just needs to wake up. Give him time to wake up' I rub Caine's soft  cheeks "ma'am we have to take him now you can see him when you make funeral plans." I shake my head no "Lyra give him to them" I shake my head no again. I go to the baby room locking the door and sit in the rocking chair. That's his favorite place to go "Lyra you're just hurting yourself more give them the baby please. I'm hurt about this too I don't want to let him go either but we have to." I hear another voice "hey Lyra it's Vanessa can I come in?" I go to the door cracking it open and letting her come in. "Hey Lyra" I grab his baby bottle and slowly stick it in his mouth "Lyra what are you doing? This isn't healthy you're in denial" 'he's...he's just tired he's really tired' tears start falling 'he's not eating' "yea that's because he's go-" 'no he's just tired and wants to sleep I have to let him sleep' I hold him close to my body rocking him "well can I hold him?" 'No. How do I know you won't take him to them? He's not dead!' "I know, I know" the door opens to show Lin and Oak 'you're not taking him from me' I hold him tighter. Oak comes up to me and kisses Caine's forehead and then someone takes Caine from me. I quickly get up but Oak stop me "let them do their job please" I push at him repeatedly punching him as hard as I can. "Do you want us restrain her?" I hear the cops ask "no it's ok she needs this" I slap in the face a few time and sit on the ground. He sits on the ground with me "we're sorry for your lost" with that they leave "are you guys ok by yourselves?" I hear Lin ask "uhm.. I don't know yet... can- can you guys stay for Lyra keep her company please I'll be back" I look up at Oak staring at him crying in the hall.