Drowning

Chapter 28: Sorry

Song// To The Hilt by Banks
Highly recommended//put on repeat

!!!Seriously, it gives more emotion to the text. Listen to it if you wanna feel the story!!!!

Ethan's POV
"That stunt you pulled earlier, was stupid." I huffed as y/n and I walked back to her car after an exhausting first day at school.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She sighed.

"That dude, Anthony or whatever his dumb name is, asked you out on a date." I replied.

"And?" She said rolling her eyes.

"And you said YES?!" I shouted in the parking lot.

"You were with me at lunch, you tell me." She said pulling a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Don't you think that's a little FOWARD? You just met today." I chuckled to hide the fact that I'm pissed. I don't think it's working.

"I'll admit that he was moving a little fast, but it's the least I could do. He helped us out; even after you were being rude. Besides, he's pretty cute." She smiled to herself.

"Do not smile!" I glared at her.

She rolled her eyes and pressed the button on her car keys that unlocks the car doors. She opened the backseat door and tossed her backpack onto the seat before closing it again.

We both stepped in the warm car before sitting on the soft fabric that spread across the plush seats. I turned towards her and watched as she closed her door and slid her keys into the ignition. I closed my door as she roared the car to life; looking out my window and waiting for us to take off.

"Look," Y/n started.

I turned to her again and met her glance. She quickly darted her beautiful eyes from mine and pinned them onto her steering wheel. It almost looked like she was trying to lie to my face, but couldn't.

"I didn't want to have this conversation right now, and honestly I didn't want to have it at all." She began.

"Okay." I said to encourage her to go on.

"I know you have some sort of feelings for Veronica, and I'm not mad at you for that. She's beautiful, funny, kind, and a lot more; I can understand why you feel the way you do." She sighed.

"And I know that you two had a good friendship, that you really couldn't find in that place. She helped you and you helped her; which is why she likes you." Y/n said as my heart stopped at those last three words.

Veronica...likes me? But do I like her?

I mean, I like to be around her because she's funny and great to hang out with. But I like to be around Grayson too, that doesn't mean I like him.

She's very positive, considering what she had been through; which I admire. And I also love the way she smiles. It's so happy and Radiant.

(A/N: *wink wink* 😉 "Radiant")

"I'm not gonna sit here and lie by saying I wasn't hurt when I saw you two together in the hall a couple of days ago. Especially right after our little thing." She said with tears beginning to glaze over he eyes.

"What the whole point of this conversation is: I'm just trying to figure shit out and distance myself from you. Because you're obviously hung up on Veronica way more than you are with me. Why waste my time when I can just learn to move on?" She snickered to hide the fact that she wanted to cry.

When she looked back at me with those glazed eyes and that bright smile, I just about died inside. I can see the hurt she's trying so desperately to hold back.

"Let's go home." She sighed before taking the wheel and backing out of the parking lot.

I turned back to my window and felt a warm stinging sensation take over my eyes. I swallowed the air lodged in my throat and blinked a couple of times to get rid of the tears. While I was looking out of the window, I heard y/n sniff as she was still driving.

It made me realize the hurt I've caused her by "living in the moment" with Veronica I guess. I never intended to hurt her, but I never thought twice when I was with Veronica either. Maybe I AM more interested in Veronica than y/n.

We DO have history, but y/n...she's the one who got me out of there. She knows about my journal, and I was about to bring back a painful history just to get her back.

We've already been through a rough patch before and I hated every second of it. I don't want that to happen again; I don't want to LOOSE her again...though I know it already happened.

But Veronica though...I don't want to hurt her either. I've already expressed my emotions towards her, so if I tell her I'm not interested in her, not only am I lying, but I'm also giving mixed signals.

God knows I've been through that before. I hated and still hate mixed signals, so why give any?

Why is this so hard? I just found out that I love y/n not long ago. Shouldn't this decision be easier?

Oh shit...what if I love Veronica too?

I sighed and rubbed my temple with my index finger. My eyes scattered across the grass and swaying tree branches as y/n continued to drive. I watched as the charcoal road slip underneath the rubber wheels with only two words that dared to escape my mouth.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled loud enough for y/n to hear.

I turned to her and looked at her hand as she wiped her dampened cheeks; refusing to look at me. Her hand returned to the steering wheel to meet the other as she sniffed once more.

"I'm really sorry." I repeated to myself.

Y/n sighed and clenched her jaw; batting her tearful eyes before meeting my glance for a couple of seconds. She gave me a forced smile and furrowed her eyebrows. She nodded her head slowly while turning back to the road.

"I am too."

A/N: Should there be another Q & A after this chapter? Anything you want to ask the characters? Let me know in the comments!!