𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭

ᎾᎻ ᎷᎾᎢᎻᎬᎡ

Sitting to the left of the backseat, I stare out at the changing landscape of louisiana in silence. The car is bouncing along the breaking roads, Jonah driving with Zach by his side in the front always laughing and talking. They constantly thought how Jonah nearly killed him is the funniest thing ever but it really isn't in my point of view. The soft playing of Hozier drifts around the car as trees and old houses come into a more clearer view while it blurs from the speed of the car.

"is she still asleep?" Daniel whispers over the back from the peeping hole looking down at the lean, olive skinned girl who was laid against my shoulder in a slumber. I smile softly and nod as he inches back down trying to be quiet in his singing. She breathed in gently as her warm side laid into mine, my mind and heart slow with the comfort that surrounded him. What had happened with Iris? was over, same with Jonah and the car finally fit into perfect harmony. Except for Zach's suggestive eyes peering into mine in the review mirror. He knew and I knew that he was right and I hated it. She melted into my seems and all I could live, smell and breathe was her and her wellbeing now and I tried so hard to pretend she didn't exist because she was that sunshine my father used to say about my mother. Is this what sappy feels like?

I tried to retrace all my feelings and thoughts over the past month, she was a nuisance at first because of the conflicts between each of them but then she became a nuisance in the sense that I couldn't keep her away from me and feeing vulnerable in this test isn't the time to. I wondered if it would have been all different if we meet in a cafe, her long brown hair cascading down her face as a stripped jumper and pilot jacket hugged her sides, cappuccino on her lips and the warm mug between her soft fingertips. I know I probably would have never gone up to her, asked for her number or anything because she was stunning and it made my stomach squirm. Maybe the test has positives, I think as she cuddles into my arm more beyond tired.

We'd moved this morning waking up as we neared Louisiana's boarder and the boundaries of the adults. I'd heard the boarder around the adults here was weak and tales of kids seeing their parents had been rumoured but it was false hope. If their parents would have cared they would have come for them already, right?

"So Jack do you think your mum is here?"

"I would like to think so" I whisper to Corbyn who seems bored with the drive but calmly looks away but not without sneaking a peak at Iris and our proximity. I felt like I couldn't think straight around her yet she powered me to look at the test like it wasn't life or death, something I hadn't seen for a longtime since our encounters were mainly desperate groups in need of our equipment. passing the boarders I felt my breath hitch at the views I had only ever seen in pictures when I was younger and about to begin the journey to a new state and new lifestyle. I couldn't tell who I was in the game as I hadn't dropped some of my bad habits but started the ones I had dreamed of doing in the new house, school and city. My mother had always kissed me goodnight promising the new opportunities for all of us and the fresh start I'd always chased but never had the chance to get. Louisiana, it even sounded like a place that would forever be in my heart but the idea was cut off by the outbreak of "teens" and boarders being built. I often pondered which movie or tv show it felt like I was in, hunger games? maze runner? lord of the flies? it just felt so fictional that I would wake up and put down the book on my bedside table. Kids had always fantasised about dimensions such as those books but I don't think they feel the same way now. I don't think half of them would feel as they rolled in their graves wishing of a better circumstance.