Ambivalence • Jayfeather X Reader •

~Jayfeather X Reader~|1|

Note:

First of all, you start as a loner. The twoleg place you start in is the one that Jayfeather uses sometimes for catmint during leaf-bare. Leaf-bare is also the season this story is started in. Also worth mentioning that the flashback isn't too important, but it helps understand things a little better. (Mini spoiler) I also should mention that this is before Hollyleaf came back; meaning Jayfeather still has his powers (*Wink*) and the great battle has not come yet.

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-Flashback-

[Y/L/N] pads towards twoleg place in hopes of finding prey. Frankly, [Y/L/N]'s territory isn't able to support much prey during leaf-bare, and she usually depends on twoleg place for support with prey sometimes. Though, [Y/L/N] would never eat twoleg muck. Midway to twoleg place, a familiar scent breaks her thoughts. I think I smell a thrush. [Y/L/N] immediately drops into a crouch, locating and stalking the thrush carefully. [Y/L/N] swipes it with her paw harshly what seems like a second before it could have seen her, and she realizes how close she was to losing it. I'll have to be faster next time... I'm just lucky. [Y/L/N] kills it quickly with a swift bite on its neck, and prepares to go back to her den, until a twoleg jumps out from behind a nearby tree loudly with a long stick figure, shooting a smaller stick out of it. [Y/L/N] yowls in surprise, and immediately going the opposite direction, not wanting to lead it to her den. Not long after, the stick hits her. It pierces into her skin as her vision darkens, and [Y/L/N] loses consciousness.

-End of flashback-

I can't remember anything. I don't even know my name. I have a name, don't I?

Bars are surrounding [Y/L/N] and she is in a room filled with cages each with one cat in them. I don't know how I got here, why I'm here... I can't even remember my parents at this point. All I remember is the sound of a gentle waterfall, trickling in rhythm to the wind. But that doesn't help me. Before she can get deeper into her thoughts, an ear-breaking yowl fills the room. Almost every cat freezes in fear. [Y/L/N] was so horrified, she didn't notice a cat appear beside her while she was pacing around her cage. She notices her soon after. She was staring at [Y/L/N] with beautiful amber eyes. [Y/L/N] didn't recognize her, but she could tell she was nothing to fear. Her softly dappled pelt was freshly groomed, and she didn't have the same fear in her eyes as the rest of the cats in this horrible room. She had a calm, peaceful gaze. Its as if shes never faced the hardships of life. "H-Hello?" [Y/L/N] manages to stutter out a sentence, not knowing what to do. No other cat seems to see her. I'm probably going delusional."Hello, [Y/L/N]." She responded smoothly. [Y/L/N] gets confused. Does she have the wrong cat? She checks, just to make sure. "...[Y/L/N]?" [Y/L/N] mews quietly. The name rings a bell. And then it hits her. That must be my name! Great. Now she thinks I'm stupid. How does she even know it? "That's your name, isn't it?" She questions softly. The pretty she-cat inches closer to [Y/L/N] and sniffs her pelt slowly. [Y/L/N] breathes in her scent for a small moment; it smells sweet and reminds her of catmint. "Do not fear, little one..." she murmurs. Only when she says this, [Y/L/N] realizes shes shaking as if shes jumped into an icy pond. "W-Who are you?" Concern laces [Y/L/N]'s voice. I don't know how this she-cat got in my cage, but she wasn't here before. "My name is Spottedleaf. Come with me, [Y/L/N]." Spottedleaf... That's a weird name.

[Y/L/N] decides she would follow her. Spottedleaf walks towards the entrance of the cage, and it opens as if it wasn't even locked. Spottedleaf flicks her tail, signaling for [Y/L/N] to follow. "Why are you saving me?" She questioned her almost immediately she got out of the cage. Spottedleaf turns around sharply. "I would never leave a cat in danger." [Y/L/N] follows her to a different end of the place she was in; the door was wide open, and [Y/L/N] was surprised on why it wasn't closed. Usually, twolegs close their doors. "What about the others?" [Y/L/N] asked sadly. She looks back one last time and gagged as she heard another ear-splitting yowl. Spottedleaf blinked at her slowly. "I don't have as much power as you might think, young one." Her voice was soft but firm. I still can't understand why she saved me so easily, but not the other cats. Maybe something was preventing her...? [Y/L/N] follows her outside. Her gut tells her to run, run as far as she can and don't come back; but something is stopping her. "Come with me. I know your memory was wiped during the process of being taken, but I know where you used to live." she continues. Oh. So that's why I don't remember stuff. [Y/L/N] heaves a small sigh of relief. I had no clue where I would spend the night, and its already getting late. Finding somewhere to rest has been the last thing on my mind since I woke up. [Y/L/N] still had so much to ask. Almost as if she read her mind, "I will answer your questions once we find your nest." "Okay, Spottedleaf." Her name rung in [Y/L/N]s head. Spotted... Leaf?

After what seemed like moons, Spottedleaf and [Y/L/N] finally got to a nest. [Y/L/N] 's muzzle dropped and she started gaping at the air as if she were waiting for fresh-kill to fly into her mouth. This den was beautiful. "Is this your den?" [Y/L/N] utters out, still astonished. "No. This is yours." Spottedleaf lets out a mrrow of amusement. "It can't be. I cant decorate this good." [Y/L/N] takes another look at the den; She saw a feather-lined moss nest in the corner, decorated with beautiful stones. She soon feels Spottedleaf's amber eyes burning into her, and then she realized she probably wasn't the one that made it. "D-Did you make this for me?" [Y/L/N] asks; even then, it still seems to suit her so well. Did she know me this much? "The cat that found you did." [Y/L/N] stares at her for a moment. "So you did?" She was the one that found me, wasn't she? "No. A different cat found you first. He was about to go help you himself but I told him to go back since he's too valuable to his clan to risk losing. I went to help you instead." [Y/L/N] didn't understand this at all. A clan? Plus, she knew for a fact no cat was around her when she got... Shot with a stick? Spottedleaf must be lying. Though [Y/L/N]decided not to confront her; she could have been telling the truth, and if she wasn't she probably had a good reason. "Okay. Thank him for me." [Y/L/N] lets out a loud purr to show her appreciation. Spottedleaf nods quietly, looking slightly uncomfortable. [Y/L/N] 's gaze shifts from Spottedleaf to the forest behind her. [Y/L/N] stares wide-eyed at it, and Spottedleaf notices. "That's one of the clan territories," she murmurs. "Do not go into the forest. And do you see those flat marshes, and the shadowy part of the forest too? Also clan territory. Along with that strip of territory, with a stream running through it. Those are all clan territories, and you will not be welcome there." [Y/L/N] stares at her as if she has three heads. She must have hit her head on a rock. Spottedleaf sighs gently. "Clans are large groups of cats that live together and depend on each other for survival and protect each other. You must take my word when I tell you not to go there. If you need to hunt, go to that twoleg place you were in before, or the little strip of territory you are in right now. There's enough prey here. That's all I had to come to you for." [Y/L/N] opens her mouth to say something, but finds there's nothing to say. She must have been a part of these clans. [Y/L/N] sees her begin to fade into thin air, and immediately starts to panic. "S-Spottedleaf? Are you okay? What's happening?" [Y/L/N] feels like she's about to burst from fear of the thought of this cat that saved her from being harmed. "I am in Starclan; I have died long ago. I can not stay with you forever, young one..." she murmured, before disappearing completely.