Ambivalence • Jayfeather X Reader •

~Jayfeather X Reader~|22|

[Y/W/N] wakes up and flutters her eyes open. For the first time in moons due to the cold of leaf-bare, she felt warmth. This will be another one of the few peaceful days in Thunderclan shes had so far. [Y/W/N] realized she has been sitting in an awkward position while staring at a wall, absorbed in her thoughts for a few minutes and a cat was already waiting for her. "Uh." [Y/W/N] jerks her head towards the voice. "Oh. Sorry if I scared you." [Y/W/N] blinks a few times and realizes the cat is Bumblestripe. Her surprise was clearly noticed. "No problem." "I brought you fresh-kill. I heard you liked these." He noses a sparrow towards her. "O-Oh?" "I mean.. You dont have to eat it. I just thought you might want it. Thats all?" "Oh. Thanks, Bumblestripe. Do you want to share it?" He freezes for a minute as if processing the question. How much weirder can he get? "Sure." He settles down next to her in her den. They eat their share in silence. "Thanks, Bumblestripe." "Its nothing, really. I just want you to feel more welcome. Most cats havent been helping with that." He murmured. He clearly wasnt used to being thanked so sincerely just for bringing a piece of fresh-kill to a cat.  Almost as if timed, Squirrelflight barges into the den. "[Y/W/N]? Are you okay? You've been sleeping for a while. Are you sick? I can take you to Jayfeathers den... You could be expecting kits! Jayfeather has to check you out." "Squirrelflight, I-" "No no! Come with me. Better safe than sorry." [Y/W/N] feels her pelt heat up as fast as a Windclan cat would be running away from a dog. Squirrelflight actually gets a good look at her and flattens her ears in embarrassment. "Oh. I kind of forgot you dont have a mate. Im interrupting something, too. Im so sorry!" Meanwhile, Bumblestripe looks mortified.  Squirrelflight runs out of the den and [Y/W/N] can hear the mocking tone of Brambleclaw, who obviously overheard what happen as he was trying not to start a laughing fit. "...I feel like I just got made leader and then died 10 times." Bumblestripe mutters. "That would be painful." [Y/W/N] says, puffing out her chest in a jokingly manner. Bumblestripe lets out a low chuckle. "Do you want to go hunting with me? Brambleclaw said we can." Bumblestripe asks, hope flickering in his eyes. Sounds like he already planned this out. "Sure." [Y/W/N] follows him out of the warrior den. She remembers what happen last night with Jayfeather and what he told her. I was planning to help him look for herbs today, too... I can just go later, right? [Y/W/N] pushes away her disappointment. She had already accepted Bumblestripes offer. She hadnt even realized they were already in the forest. The smell of prey fills her senses. "Preys running well today! About time." Bumblestripe exclaims cheerfully. "True. Graystripes probably going to have a feast." [Y/W/N] replies with a snicker. "I think I can smell a magpie. Ill be right back." Bumblestripe heads off to Starclan knows where and not long after [Y/W/N] can scent a hare that just strayed off of Windclan territory. She lifts her head slightly and she realizes she was around eight fox-lengths from the border. Woah. I didnt even notice. She looks slightly farther to see if any apprentice was going to chase it onto Thunderclan territory. Of course she didnt want that to happen, but she was being cautious. She only heard of Windclan's mischievous apprentices a million times. She tracks it and kills it with a harsh blow to the neck. A mentor would say its messy, but this hare was pretty big. For some reason, the world begins falling around her. She instinctively lets out a terrified wail.  All around her is white and she looks around frantically. "Do not fear." Hearing a voice when nothing was around causes [Y/W/N] to jump even harder, but she recognizes it as Spottedleafs. "Help them realize." She states calmly. "W-Who?" [Y/W/N] begins seeing Bumblestripe, though probably not Bumblestripe, infront of her. His tail was entwined with Dovewings. "He already is trying to be her mate, isnt he...?" For a minute Bumblestripes normal coat color flickers with another. A darker color. It seemed like [Y/W/N] was meant to see it, though not in an obvious way. She cuts herself off when she sees another cat a few mouse tails away from them. She recognizes Jayfeather. He was uncomfortably next to a white she-cat with green eyes that [Y/W/N] knows is Half Moon. She turns to [Y/W/N], and slowly blinks at her as if realizing something that seemed to make sense. That cured all of her confusion. That relieved her. Soon, she disappears. The white she-cat that was once there was now replaced with a black cat figure. [Y/W/N] couldnt make out which cat they were. It was only a shadow; as if she currently didnt have the power to see it...? Jayfeather, though, seems to recognize them as something else and his discomfort disappears as he pulls them closer to him with his tail.  "Who? Please.. Help me understand! Where are you getting to? Dont leave me like this again..." For a quick moment, guilt floods Spottedleafs amber gaze. "I never wanted to leave you, but I had to at some point. Im dead!  Your alive. You need to learn that not all questions will be answered as quickly as you'll like them to." The white around [Y/W/N] fades slowly, and shes back in the forest again. Literally a second after she gains knowledge of what just happen, Bumblestripe pads towards her with his chest puffed out proudly and a magpie in his jaws. He sets it down in the grass. "It didnt even see me coming!" "Good job, Bumblestripe! You know," [Y/W/N] teasingly looks around the forest. He tilts his head in curiosity. "I think Dovewings been craving a magpie for quite some time now." "Oh? Really...?" He nervously looks down. [Y/W/N] lets out a hum. "Mhm! Come on, Bumblestripe. You already got this far. What bad can come out of going even farther?" [Y/W/N] cheers.  "Y-Your right! I can do this." His confidence seems to fade, though. "Arent you mad at me?" He nervously turns his head towards her. "Am I supposed to be?" [Y/W/N] questions softly. "Well, I was mostly hanging out with you to make her jealous." Bumblestripe shamefully looks at the ground again. [Y/W/N] cant even be manage to act surprised. "Clearly. That doesnt mean you were my friend for the same reason, though. Right?" "Right. Awesome catch, by the way." Bumblestripe mews. He fails to hide his relief as he lets out a loud sigh. He smacks his tail across his muzzle. I completely forgot about that hare. Nice. "Thanks."  "No problem. Well, im going to do what you suggested. Thanks, [Y/W/N]!" He runs off with his tail held high, curled with happiness. In fact he was so happy, he forgot his magpie. He comes back quickly to get his magpie, nervously glances at her, and bounds off again. And now I can help Jayfeather. [Y/W/N] takes her time in hurling the hare over her shoulders and returning back to the Thunderclan camp. As soon as she places her hare in the pile, Brambleclaw begins calling a patrol. "Hunting patrol! Bumblestripe, Graystripe, Squirrelflight, [Y/W/N], Cherrypaw, Molepaw." Seriously? Jayfeather then emerges from his den. "Brambleclaw, I need one of your warriors to help me restock my catmint." Brambleclaw looks around camp for a moment. Most of the warriors werent there; there was already a border patrol out and most of the other cats were either sunning or going hunting with their mates. [Y/W/N] feels her smile widen when she sees Dovewing finishing the magpie Bumblestripe caught. That was fast. Bumblestripes a fast runner considering he eats around three mice a day. It would probably be gone in a few seconds. "I can go help Jayfeather, Brambleclaw. I just went hunting. Could Dovewing take my spot?" Brambleclaw turns his head towards her in surprise as if he didnt expect her to make that offer. Did I do something wrong?  "Is that alright, Jayfeather?" Brambleclaw asks. "Look, I just need a warrior to help me fetch some Starclan cursed catmint-" "Okay, you can go [Y/W/N]." [Y/W/N] dips her head and clumsily walks towards Jayfeather, too happy to even bother trying to be graceful. "What now?" Jayfeather asks bluntly. "Bumblestripe." [Y/W/N] replies. "Oh." He mutters. "Hes just so perfect for Dovewing!" [Y/W/N] squeaks as she and Jayfeather begin walking to Twolegplace, where catmint was near. Half way there, [Y/W/N] starts up again. "They're going to have such beautiful kits, dont you think?" "I wont be able to tell if they're beautiful or not. Im blind." "Well, still! You know, Jayfeather, if you gave birth to kits they would be the prettiest kits in the forest." [Y/W/N]  mews. "Great Starclan, [Y/W/N]! Shut up!" Jayfeather flattens his ears. "Fine, fine." She huffs. They arrive at twoleg place. Jayfeather stops walking for a moment as if determining something. "You alright there, Jayfeather?" [Y/W/N]] asks. "What? Oh. Of course im alright. Im just thinking about something." After seeing [Y/W/N]'s unsure expression, he sighs. "Ill tell you later." Jayfeather clamps as much catmint as he can in his jaws, and [Y/W/N] does the same. They pad to camp without talking, since they literally cant while they carry so many herbs. Calmly placing his herbs in his den, [Y/W/N] follows. "Thanks. You can join that hunting patrol now." Jayfeather mutters. It sounds like he would like to say something else but decided not to mention it. "Actually I was thinking about giving Dovewing and Bumblestripe some alone time. Meaning, I can spend a good while helping you out." [Y/W/N] responds with a curt wink. "Please. Please dont do this to me." Jayfeather groans loudly. "Stop being so rude to her, Jayfeather! She just wants to help!" Leafpool calls from the other side of the den. When the fox-dung did she get here?  "Help isnt always helpful, Leafpool. Thanks for proving that to me, by the way." Jayfeather retorts. Leafpool turns out of the den, probably to talk with Squirrelflight, after giving Jayfeather a harsh glare. "I dont need help right now, [Y/W/N]. Join the patrol." "Fine." [Y/W/N] steps out of the den and goes the opposite direction the hunting patrol went, purposefully. Only a few fox lengths into the forest, the ground disappears from under  her. "Dang it, Spottedleaf! You could at least warn me." White surrounds her and Spottedleaf appears with a small glare, even though its clear shes not actually mad at  [Y/W/N]. "Two down, one more to go." She murmurs. Is she talking about the pairs? What does she mean ONE more?  "What? One?" Spottedleaf blinks slowly and looks at  [Y/W/N] with the most 'Are you serious?' expression shes ever seen. "Find out yourself." Spottedleaf mutters and begins fading.  [Y/W/N] is back in the real world where Jayfeather is a mouse tail length away from her. "What in Starclan are you doing? I go off to see where the fox-dung you were heading since you werent going where the hunting patrol went, and I find you talking to yourself."  [Y/W/N] jumps into the air and fluffs out her tail. "I... Uh..." Jayfeather slits his eyes. "What are you hiding?" "Something." "What is something?" "A thing." "Whats that thing?" "Something." "[Y/W/N], Im serious-" "I cant tell you, though." Jayfeather hisses angrily and pins his ears back. "Im a medicine cat. You have to tell me." "I cant!" "Whats so secretive that Yellowfang had to chase me out of your dreams herself?"  [Y/W/N] takes a step backwards but Jayfeather only inches closer. "J-Jayfeather y-your.. S-scaring me."  [Y/W/N]  instinctively flattens herself to the ground. "What was that? Do you think a blind medicine cat is going to hurt you? Its not that hard! Was it about the prophecy?" "No." "This isnt the first time Starclan has specifically kept something from me. Whats so important? Arent I good enough? Is it because im blind?" "Its not that!" "Then what is it?" At this point  [Y/W/N] just prays that she'll disappear into the ground. She begins to scent Yellowfang who was scolding Jayfeather for being so cruel. "Figure it out yourself! Medicine cats are supposed to interpet things, not force it out of others. Mangy fleabag! You youngsters know absolutely nothing about manners." She disappears again. "We dont know anything about manners? Thats probably the most blunt Starclan has been for the past two moons, too." Jayfeather rolls his eyes. "And stop cowering, mouse brain.  I... didnt mean to scare you." He nudges  [Y/W/N] onto her feet with his paw. She flinches away from him and lashes her tail. "...Please?" His voice was annoyed, but drowsy. He clearly was having a stressful day.  [Y/W/N]  huffs and licks Jayfeathers ear, causing him to nearly fall over out of surprise. "Did you actually think I was mad at you?" "Go away." "Your such a softie." "Ugh." Jayfeather and [Y/W/N]  reach the catmint, where they pick up a large bundle each and pad back to camp in silence. Jayfeathers tail lashes side to side while trailing on the ground. After a few minutes they reach camp. Its already dark and [Y/W/N] walks with Jayfeather into the medicine den, where they set down the herbs. "Thanks." Jayfeather mutters. "No problem. Ill see you tomorrow!" [Y/W/N] bounds out of the den before Jayfeather even gets a chance to respond because of how tired she is and flops into her nest in the warriors den. Before she falls asleep, though, she sees the same flash of amber eyes as before many nights ago; but they're a different shade, and have a warmer hue. Again? Looks like im going to have some interesting dreams tonight. [Y/W/N] falls asleep with ease.