Ambivalence • Jayfeather X Reader •

~Jayfeather X Reader~|18|

[Y/W/N] wakes up probably half an hour before sunrise and immediately remembers what happen last night, her mood quickly getting sadder by the second. I guess ill apologize tonight and just pray hes there. [Y/W/N] feels Jayfeather at her side and remembers herself forcing him to let her sleep in his nest. She buries her muzzle in Jayfeathers fur hoping to forget everything that happen at least until sunhigh, without knowing hes awake. [Y/W/N] thinks she can feel Jayfeathers tail beginning to rise to stroke her flank, but he quickly pulls it away and instead rests his muzzle on top of her head. [Y/W/N] enjoys the comfort without knowing how much this was hurting him but can start feeling the hurt scent linger in the air. "Jayfeather whats-" Jayfeather quickly interrupts her, not seeming to care about what she was about to say. "Do you regret risking your friendship with Breezepelt to save me?" He sounds like hes been thinking about this for a while with the inability to reassure himself. [Y/W/N] thinks she would fall over if Jayfeathers head still wasnt planted on hers. Well, that sure was a change of mood. Who would have known even a cat as grumpy as Jayfeather could feel doubt? "Jayfeather you mouse-brain!" He flinches slightly and flattens his ears. "I shouldnt have asked." He gets up and looks like hes about to walk off and do something but [Y/W/N] literally tackles him to the ground. He struggles to get free, earning a few protesting hisses for her. "No, I mean do you seriously think I would let Breezepelt kill you just so I could continue being his friend? I knew him for like, two nights! I technically knew you my whole life. I just feel bad about how it ended, thats all." "Yeah. Get off of me." [Y/W/N] flops off of Jayfeather. "I didnt realize how stupid that would sound until I actually asked. By the way, your standing on my tail. Get off." "O-Oh? Sorry!" [Y/W/N] immediately lifts her paw off of his tail that was now twitching irritably like it usually was. A flashback unexpectedly takes over her and she struggles to get back to the real world where she fell flat on her muzzle, seemingly sleeping and Jayfeather trying to wake her up. Now she was completely in her flashback.

[Y/W/N] sees herself younger, almost the age of an older apprentice. She leaps across the stones of this newly found territory. Its rocky with near a steep ravine and has a few snakes here and there, but they arent big. [Y/W/N] already killed one with ease, which says something because of her size. She stares admiringly into the ravine, wondering what kind of things could live in such darkness; Yet even besides the darkness, there still seems to be light. [Y/W/N] has never seen a ravine before, so this was new to her. She was more focused on the beauty than the surroundings, causing her not to notice a snake about to lunge at her. When she finally hears the hisses, she gets startled and stumbles into the ravine but manages to grab onto the thin land above her with the lower half of her body dangling helplessly. The snake, of course, thought she fell in the ravine and slithered away. She closes her eyes and waits for the flash of pain she would feel as she falls to her death. She cant help but crack a smile at how stupid she is but quickly pushes away since shes full-on about to die. She feels teeth sink into her scruff and wonders why something would help try to kill her, as she was already so close to plummeting. Instead of simply snapping her neck like [Y/W/N] expected, the cat hurls her up onto land. Still clumsy from almost dying, she squints her eyes to take a closer look at what saved her and [Y/W/N] sees Jayfeather probably as a still-medicine-cat-apprentice. Though, the young [Y/W/N] probably saw him as this strong, mythic hero as big as a lion due to her delusions she got from the trauma. "H-Hi there..!" The smaller version of [Y/W/N] tries stepping closer to Jaypaw, at the time, who takes a step back. "Forget you ever saw me!" he snaps and runs away.

The flashback ends, and [Y/W/N] feels another one coming. One that she didnt want to relive.

Breezepelt lunges at Jayfeather but was knocked off his feet by [Y/W/N]. "I wouldnt suggest that, [Y/W/N]. Stay out of my way. Ive been waiting for this moment, you know. I know more moves than what you saw as we play fought. Those were nothing compared to what I know. Stay out of it, okay? Just enjoy the show." "Hes a medicine cat!" Breezepelt impatiently flicks his tail. "Move." "Never!" Breezepelt tries dodging her and lunges at Jayfeather again, but [Y/W/N] leaps infront of him and takes the blow. "[Y- [Y/W/N]! I told you to move!"

The flashbacks end and [Y/W/N] immediately realizes that if she hadnt leaped infront of Jayfeather, Breezepelt would have done much more to him than just that bruise he gave her; to the point Jayfeather might've been killed. Why the fox-dung were these sent to me? Is it because the memory loss I suffered from the twolegs wasnt permanent..? Maybe something triggered that... Whatever, besides that! Is that why Jayfeather was hurting; because he didnt think I would return his favor? [Y/W/N] pushes away the thoughts and begins to feel herself waking up. Jayfeather was prodding her with his paw but he didnt look anxious, and [Y/W/N] remembers he can walk in dreams. [Y/W/N] lets out a low moan at the sudden soreness shes feeling. "How long was I out?" "Not long." "'Kay," [Y/W/N] nudges him playfully. "So you saved-" "Dont you dare even think about that." [Y/W/N] snickers and Jayfeather rolls his eyes. He steps out of the medicine cat den hesitantly and [Y/W/N] limps her way back to the nest she was in the previous night. She feels sleepiness nagging at her but tries to push it away. I cant afford to get lazy. She fails to keep her eyes open after multiple attempts. The same raspy voice she heard before rings in her mind. "Stupid furball! Just go to sleep. Staying awake wont heal any wounds!" Jayfeather must know this cat. She has his grumpiness. [Y/W/N] closes her eyes, letting sleep take over her.

After a few hours of peaceful resting that was earned by Jayfeather violently lashing out on any cat that was being too loud near the medicine cat den, Jayfeather sticks his paw into [Y/W/N]'s flank to wake her up. "Wake. Up." [Y/W/N] opens one eye and glances at Jayfeather who still was still impatiently prodding her. "Euugh." "When did you last eat and how much?" "Uhh? Yesterday. I had two mice and shared some of a rabbit with Lionblaze." Jayfeather glares at her for a moment. "So you didnt have anything today?" "I just woke up!" [Y/W/N] realizes how hungry she really is when her stomach lets out a soft growl. He bats at her nose and she lets out a wimper. "Mouse brain!" he hisses and stalks out of the den. [Y/W/N] glances at Briarlight who must have returned when she was sleeping and she was mimicing Jayfeathers grumpy facial expression. [Y/W/N] cracks a smile and begins grooming her paw that was stiff since she slept on it. He storms back into the den carrying two voles by the tail in his jaws, dropping one each infront of Briarlight and [Y/W/N]. Jayfeather sits there silently for a moment and [Y/W/N] eagerly tucks into her freshkill. Briarlight looks at hers sadly and questioningly. "Briarlight." Hearing Jayfeather say her name almost scares Briarlight out of her fur. "Just eat the Starclan cursed vole already!" [Y/W/N] tilts her head and glances at Briarlight who sighs and begins to start her mouse, too. Jayfeather lets out a puff of relief and begins doing something with his herbs. Briarlight begins winking at [Y/W/N] again. Is something in her eye..? [Y/W/N] tilts her ear, confused. Briarlight lets out a chuckle and Jayfeathers head snaps towards her, making her flinch. He lets out a grumble and slowly turns his head back to what he was doing. [Y/W/N] playfully sticks out her tongue at Briarlight who scrunches up her face, pretending to be yowling out of despair and horror. [Y/W/N] lets out a snort and Jayfeather turns his head to look at Briarlight again, who was still in that facial stance. "...Im not even going to ask." Saying that only made Briarlight and [Y/W/N] burst into laughter. I only got here a few moons ago, but really it feels like ive been here my whole life. Jayfeather brings his paw to his muzzle and face-palms. "Great Starclan, you two have the maturity of kits." "Well, you have the grumpiness of a badger." Briarlight and [Y/W/N] say this at the exact same time creepily and they start a laughing fit, not being able to stop for a good three minutes. Soon they calm down and [Y/W/N] eyes a moss-ball and turns her gaze to Briarlight, putting on a devilish smile. Briarlights tail curls up in delight.

-Timeskip after they play mossball-

Its just after mid day now. As [Y/W/N] peeks outside of the den, she realizes it already become new-leaf. That came fast. Im glad it did. The prey was decent this leaf-bare, but not decent enough... Wait, dont I have to apologize to Breezepelt tonight? [Y/W/N] flinches at the realization and decides to rest. She quickly falls asleep with the tunnels and the night awaiting her.