Mindless Dreams and Nightmares

Chapter 7: I'm There If You Need Me

Dedicated to DesireInspire_ because she helped remind me of the reason why I started writing this in the first place and pulled me back from the verge of deleting. You seem to genuinely enjoy the story so thanks and I hope you keep reading :)

I hugged my knees tighter to my chest. Cowering away from her, literally trying to sink into the wall behind me. I closed my eyes tight, trying to shut out the harsh words coming at me. "Bitch are you listening to me?" I felt a sharp slap across my legs. I jumped and put my head up, her face was inches away from my forehead. "I said, did you hear me?"  I just nodded at her  not trusting myself to say a word. She knelt down and came closer to me bringing her head forward until her lips were parallel to my right ear. "Then what did I just say?" I flinched and tried sliding to my left but she shifted slightly and grabbed my face in her hands forcing me to look at her "Repeat what I just said!!!" She in a low dangerous whisper.
"Jameelah your worthless, the day you were born was the worst day of my life. I regret not aborting you while I had the chance." The tears began to fall down my cheeks. She took her left hand and used a long freshly manicured finger to trace my tear tracks, then she tutted.
"Why are you crying?" She growled, her face was etched with hatred. She began making circling motions with her thumb, wiping my tears all over my face.  "You know how I feel about tears. Especially from you. Crying is for people who have a reason to be sad. You have absolutely no reason to be sad, you ruined my happiness, there's every reason for me to cry but absolutley no reason for you to shed a single tear."
She let go of my face and stood up. She smoothed her dress out. Then looked down at me. "I can hardly bear to look at you" I flinched again at her harsh tone.  "clean yourself up you look a mess"
Using the wall for support I got into a standing position and inched past her nervously, not taking my eyes off her. As soon as I got to them I ran up the stairs and went into my room, closing the door behind me. I breathed out and the tears began to fall, I sank to the floor crying my eyes out, the tears went all over my shirt and the floor but I just let them fall thinking I'd rather sit here and cry forever than look at the bruises and cuts that now tatooed my body.
My phone rang and I looked up at it flashing on my desk. I put my head back down, I didnt want to talk to anyone, I honestly just wanted to sit here and allow this pain and sadness to wash over me. I really didnt know what to do anymore, whenever I get a glimpse of happiness my mother comes along to drag me back into reality. I took away her happiness with my father and that makes me unloveable and I deserve to be unhappy.
Suddenly I heard Chris Browns voice filling my room with the sound of his song With You, I knew it was Prodigy  so I decided to go and answer it, I crawled gingerly to the desk but by the time I got there the phone had stopped ringing. I reached up and grabbed the phone before slowly lowering myself back onto my rug. I looked at the screen. I had 2 missed calls from him. Damn.
I was supposed to go out with him today! It was his last free day in London, he said he wanted to spend it with me. I sighed because I had completely forgotten about going out today  when I came downstairs for breakfast mum was sitting at the kitchen table in a black cocktail dress on like she'd not just dissappered for days like nothing had happened. Then it all happened. She came at me in rage and fury.
My phone vibrated pulling me back to the present.

HesJustAProdigy<3 : Where are you? You still coming right?:(

I sighed. Spending time with him these past 2 weeks has been amazing, dreamlike almost. I didnt want it to end but I couldnt face the outside world like this, all battered and shaken up. I replied :

I'm sorry, I cant make it today. Next time your in the UK give me a call wont you? xx Jameelah

A couple of minutes later my phone was ringing again.
"Hello?"
"Jameelah? What the hell? Where are you? how comes you never answered your phone? What do you-" I held the phone away from my ear for a second, all his questions were giving me a headache. When I heard his voice stop I put it back to my ear
"Listen, Prod. I can-" I began to say, but he cut me off
"Jameelah, dont cancel on me. Please, being around you has been the most fun I've had while being away from home. I know you enjoyed it to! Now is not the time to be stubborn" He said. His voice suddenly went soft. "Jameelah, see me once more, please just once more is all I'm asking, then you can be done with me if you want."
Tears began silently rolling down my cheeks. I really hated the pain I could hear in his voice, but honestly I didnt want him to see me like this. I was a wreck and I didnt want him to pity me or ask questions  "Prod, I cant. I really want to see you too but I just cant. Face the-" My voice cracked. I couldnt say anymore or he'd know I was crying.
"Jameelah, dont shut me out. Look tell me where you are and I'll come get you." He said sounding worried.
I closed my eyes. The concern and the pain in his voice was killing me, he barely knows me but he seems to care so much for me. I sighed and wiped my tears "Its not that easy Prod, I-"
He cut me off, "Jameelah, its only as hard as you make it, if you dont want to see me then say so"
"Its not that I dont want to see you" I whispered
"Then what is it??" He asked impatiently. I could hear him getting annoyed
"I dont want you to see me," My voice was now so quiet I wasnt sure the phone was even picking it up. "I forgot today was his birthday you see, the smile on my face was too big when I came downstairs this morning. I wasnt expecting her to be there though" I gasped and started crying as I remembered what happened all over again.
"Jameelah? Please dont cry" Prods concerned voice soothed me "Your not making very much sense so come to the park where you took me on our first date and-"
"It wasnt a date" I croaked indignatly sounding like an annoyed frog "I already told you I cant come"
"Yeah whatever" He said laughing "Come on, please come, for me??" I hesitated. I did want to see him, really badly too but I didnt have the strength to face my mum again. "Jameelah, listen I'm gonna go to the park ok, I will wait there for you, you dont have to reply now or even tell me if youre coming but just know I'm there, if you, if you need me" I heard him sigh once more before he put the phone down.

I knew he really would go, and he really would wait for me, whether I wanted him to or not, but the real question was could I bring myself to go?

I havent updated this story in a while, there was a point when I was on the verge of deleting it but I decided to keep it, I'm probably not gonna update this regularly but I will finish it ..... eventually ^_^ hopefully ...... Comment, fan and vote if you liked it.