The Outside Lines (boyxboy)

Chapter 32 - The Strings That Began To Unravel

I apologize for the delay. I've been sick and getting increasingly busy over the month, so I have less time for writing. I've been considering updating bi-weekly, or every two weeks going forward but I don't want to become lax in my free time, so I'll still write whenever I can. Instead of announcing when I'm not going to be updating I'll just update whenever I'm able to. 

Picture of Amber (Mackenzie Foy)

Noah's POV

My heart nearly burst out of my chest at the sight of Nathan... making out with...

Amber.

The world froze over, my legs wouldn't move at that moment no matter how hard I tried, like they were encased in a thick sheet of ice.

Taylor's eyes met mine. Worry and pity shone from them as she watched me standing bewildered at the doorway.

I couldn't hear a thing. Despite all the surrounding noises being almost deafening my shock was enough to phase them out.

I stood at the door in fear, witnessing the whole thing. When my legs finally listened to my command, I took off in the opposite direction.

I ran.

I ran like my life depended on it. My heart raced, it felt like it was going to burst in my chest, and it wasn't from running. I was foolish enough to think I could out run my problems.

I raced across the yard, kicking up blades of grass. I ran wherever my legs took me, my mind in a haze.

It felt like I'd been running for an eternity, but in reality only a few minutes had passed before I ended up somewhere in the forest across the street from the Wailing's property. I gasped for breaths of air, hunched over and gripping my legs. Normally I would've been able to run ten times farther without breaking a sweat, but I was feeling so drained emotionally that it was effecting me physically.

...Why should I even care that Nathan kissed Amber? It's not like we're dating. The fact that I had no answer to that annoyed me. I dropped to the grass and leaves beneath me, furiously ruffling my hair in frustration and tears threatening to stream from the lids of my eyes.

I sat in the middle of the chilly forest half naked with grass, leaves and bugs tickling my bare legs. I bet I look like an absolute fool. I wanted nothing more than to bury my head under the dirt and disappear.

"It's not like we had a chance at dating anyway. You were the one who decided to keep him as nothing more than a friend." I tried to reason with myself. It wasn't very convincing though.

"We can't be more than friends, can we? He'll hurt me, just like Chad did right?"

"...All signs point to him actually liking me."

"But."

"But I'm scared. I'm scared to take a chance."

...

"What's wrong with me? Why am I such a coward? I can do the most daring and dastardly things, yet when it comes to dealing with emotions, I'm a wimp." I finally blamed myself. 

My hands gripped at the locks of blond hair fountaining from the top of my head in frustration. It's ironic, being out here like this finally helped me sort out the thoughts weighing on my mind, but it didn't help much seeing as they were still heavy just the same. It's sort of like sorting old papers instead of binning it.

I really do like Nathan a lot, don't I...

The quietness of the wind weaving through the darkened forest gave off an eerie, yet vaguely peaceful feeling. I glanced back and forth studying the many plants and tree trunks illuminated by the brightly glowing ball in the sky, that being the moon. I sat there for at least an hour, not wanting to return to the party. Though the freezing air became so pronounced and harsh against my bare skin that if I didn't start heading back now I'd die here in the grass from hypothermia.