PTSD

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Warning; fear/angst and some mentions to wartime

When Theseus left England to join the war, he knew the ministry disagreed with his actions. They thought it unnecessary to get involved in the muggle conflict, as it wasn't their business. Theseus felt that if they could help avoid the loss of more life, and save innocent people, they should at least try. He knew he had no real idea of what he was running into, but he could never have imagined the chaos, despair and pain that the war showed him. He helped in the capture of quite a few dark wizards who were a threat to his country, he saved many innocent muggles, saved around 20 fellow wizard's lives, and quickly rose to become a natural leader. When he returned from France he was thinner and more tired than he had ever been before. And though he tried to hide it, his parents quickly realized he was not the same person he had been when he left. The ministry had come around and praised him for his efforts. Recognizing his talent and skill he was quickly named Head auror upon his return, becoming the youngest Head auror in the history of the British ministry. Wherever he went people praised him and his accomplishments, often being called a war hero by people in the ministry. He put on a smile, accepted the praise and the rewards, and did his best to go on with his life. And though the world didn't seem to notice, underneath, Theseus's world was crumbling around him.


The nightmares had started about a week after he had returned back home. The first few days after returning home he had been far too exhausted to wake up during the night, or to have trouble sleeping. Every night when he went to bed, he passed out almost immediately, and after a couple of days of staying with his parents, his clothes had started to feel less big on him, and the colour had returned to his face. It all went downhill when he went back to his own, empty, quiet flat. After fighting for so long, he was still always on high alert; every unexpected sound or movement making him jump or reach for his wand. And when he went to sleep at night, he relived the worst memories of his time in the war. He was an absolute mess, but knew he couldn't show it to the world. He had just been given a job with huge honour, and an even bigger responsibility, and no one could be given any reason to doubt him. And so Theseus trudged on. Taking sleeping draught whenever he needed, focussing on his work, and ignoring the uneasiness growing inside of him.

One morning when he sat in his office an owl arrived with a letter for him. Theseus smiled, recognizing Newt's old owl.

'Hello Merlin.' He stroked the old owl when it landed on his desk.

The letter was most definitely Newt's; there was no mistaking his brother's neat, but quick scrawl. Newt had been away on an assignment from the ministry when Theseus had returned three weeks ago, and Theseus had been rather upset that his brother hadn't been at the docks when he gotten off the boat. He hadn't seen Newt in 2 years, and even though they often fought, he had missed his brother.

Dear Theseus,

I heard the war ended and you finally got to come back home. Sorry I wasn't there when you arrived; the ministry had sent me to Norway for an assignment. I'm back home now, so I assume that if you would like, you could come over some time.

Your brother,

Newt.

Theseus chuckled slightly and rolled his eyes as he put the letter back into the envelope. 'Your owner has a poor talent for words, you know that.' He said to the owl, stroking it once more, before it flew off again. Newt had never been very good with people, and inviting people to come over was something he was absolutely rubbish at. Luckily after so many years, Theseus had learned how to interpret his brothers words. Going to see Newt would probably be good for him. They hadn't seen each other in so long, and it would provide him with some distraction, rather than sitting at home alone all night. So he decided to go over to Newt's immediately after work, and hoped his brother wouldn't be too upset by the surprise visit.


Newt opened the door with a rather surprised look on his face; he had obviously not expected his brother to show up so soon.

'Theseus!' Newt couldn't help but smile. No matter their differences and disagreements, he still cared for his brother and was happy to see him back home safely. 'Come in.' Newt opened the door further and Theseus walked in.

'Nothing has changed here in the time I've been away, has it?'

Newt just shook his head. 'I wasn't expecting you so soon.'

Theseus shrugged. 'It's been 2 years, Newt. I've missed you.'

'I guess I have missed you too, Theseus.'

Theseus tried not to roll his eyes at his brother.

'So... Head auror?'

'Yeah.' Theseus sighed. 'I'm not exactly sure how that came about, but it's a great honour.'

Newt nodded. 'Well, everyone is singing your praises. "Theseus Scamander the war Hero".'

Theseus shrugged again. 'I don't see how surviving a horrible war makes me worthy of that title, honestly.'

'Thee...' Newt stared at his brother. 'Don't brush yourself aside. You saved a lot of people, muggles and wizards alike. Give yourself some credit at least.'

Theseus smiled slightly, before jumping up, a fear overtaking him when outside he heard a sound similar to a gunshot. Newt looked up with surprise, wondering what had caused the noise. He had not yet noticed his brother looking around the room in panic, like an animal cornered by predators. Theseus' breathing quickened, and grew more shallow, as he slowly felt like he was suffocating. He tried to grab onto the chair he was sitting on, trying to steady himself, remind him he was back home. But in his mind all he could see where images of the war flashing by. He started shaking, gasping for air as a horrible dread filled him.

'Theseus!'

The voice seemed to come from far away, and sounded familiar, sounded safe but it felt out of reach. He quickly looked around trying to find out where the voice came from, wanting nothing more than to run towards it. He felt someone grip his arm, and tried to shake it off, feeling sure it must have been an enemy; the grip only tightened. More and more he was feeling out of breath, though he tried so hard to breath. And then he felt a sharp pain on his cheek, and he was back in London once again. He looked directly into his brother's, worry-filled eyes.

'Thee?' Newt mumbled.

Theseus took a few deep breaths, as he raised his hand to his stinging cheek. 'Did you hit me?'

Newt looked down feeling slightly ashamed. 'I'm sorry... I wasn't really sure what else to do...' Newt dared to look up at his brother again. 'What happened, Thee?'

'I don't know exactly... I don't know why it happened, but I suddenly felt like I was back in France again... back in the Trenches...' Theseus looked down unable to meet his brother's eyes.

'Does it happen a lot?' Theseus could hear the uncertainty in Newt's tone; he wasn't sure he should be asking about this.

'I have nightmares.. It's the first time it has happened during the day...' Theseus sighed. 'I'm sorry, Newt.'

Newt shrugged. 'There is nothing to apologize for Theseus.' Newt opened his mouth to ask more, but realized his brother did not want to talk about it and closed it again. He had seen his own horrors during the war, and knew the memories were painful. If Theseus didn't want to talk yet, then Newt would gladly change the topic, and help his brother focus on something else. 'I don't have anything to make dinner, so I was planning to go to the leaky cauldron for dinner.... Would you like to join, Thee?'

Theseus smiled. 'I would, Newt.' He got up from the chair and followed his brother out of the apartment. He was thankful his brother didn't ask any more questions, for he wasn't sure he would be able to answer them. And he knew he could trust his brother not to mention what had happened to anyone. None would be the wiser.

A/N Let me know in the comments what you think

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