The Darkness Tainting My Mind (UNDER HEAVY EDITING)

Water Temple (Lemon)

I stood on the warp pad in Lake Hylia. I ruffled my hair and, with my Zora Tunic on, waded into the water. I swam over to the entrance of Water Temple and used my iron boots to sink down far enough to hit the ground and use my hookshot to open the entrance. I entered and took off my iron boots, rising to the surface of the water. "I have a feeling that this is going to be rage inducing." I, by pure instinct, jumped into the water and sunk to the bottom.

I entered a room and found... Ruto. "Link?!" she exclaimed and pulled me into a hug. "I never forgot the vows we made to each other seven years ago! You're a terrible man to have kept me waiting for these seven long years..." It felt like the room had dropped a few degrees as she let go of me and I took a few steps away. "But now is not the time to talk about love..." I, mentally, let out a sigh of relief. "Right now, as a request from your wife," I cringed when she used that word "You have to help me destroy the evil monster in the temple, OK?" She pressured me.

"Fine." She, with a satisfied smile, left the area. "I really don't like women in that way, especially if they're like her. However, guys, like that guy in black, are the best!" I made an oddly masculine pose and a very charismatic smile.

"So... Link... you're gay?" Navi asked while, somehow, not drowning.

"No... of course I'm not gay--Of course I'm gay! It took you this long to notice?"

"... I can't help you with that, but I recommend that you stay away from that guy in black."

"Could you stop saying that? He's been helping me a lot and you don't complain when Sheik helps me. I think that you're just biased." I mini-ranted as I got my ocarina out and lowered the water level. I ignored the door right next to me and dropped down through the hole in the floor. I solved the torch puzzle and went through the door. I defeated the enemies in the room which resulted in a small chest appearing in the center of the room. Duh duh duh DUH!!! I got a small key. I walked out of the room as it locked itself again. I trotted over to a block in the wall and pushed it and I went into the next area. I went through more water and hit a switch with my sword. A water geyser appeared and I used it to cross to the other side of the room and opened the door that was there. I dropped down into more water and noticed a barred gate in front of me. I turned around and hit a switch that was not very well hidden in a statue's mouth, and the gate opened. I swam through, got a small key, and went back.

"Hey! Link! What do you think of this temple so far?" Navi asked as I went back to the main room of the dungeon.

"It is like all of the others: Absolute shit and I never want to come back," I growled as I unlocked the center room using a small key.

"What if Ruto stays here?"

I changed the water level and said, "Then thank the goddesses for sparing my life and what little is left of my mental stability."

I entered the area below the floating block and fought the enemies and got a small key. "Don't you think that's a bit mean?"

"Her mental health is worse than mine and I'll bet you that she's gone through less than I have," I told as I back-tracked and got another small key.

"Point taken," she nodded as I unlocked a door and walked in. I used the geyser to get me up to the next floor, went went through the door, and played the song that doesn't make heart soar. The water level raised it to its highest. I opened the next locked door. When Navi and I entered a room with moving pillars, I groaned as she looked around to figure out to get to the other side of the room. When she came back, I bit my lip, as I already knew the answer to my own question.

"You're going to have to use the hookshot on those moving pillars if you want to go any farther," she explained.

"Great...." I sighed. "Let's get this over with. I have a feeling that the item we need in behind that door," I said as I pulled out my hookshot from my item pocket and slid down to the moving pillar below us. Aiming my shots at the targets, I pulled myself onto the pillars above me as fast as I could to reach the door before I could fall down the dark hole. Once I got to it, I used the key I found and used it to unlock the chain that was barring it.