The Darkness Tainting My Mind (UNDER HEAVY EDITING)

Shadow Spirit Unleashed

I was placed in the Lake Hylia area, at nighttime, as the lake water level rose. I promptly bent over the water and started washing my mouth. "As the water rises, the evil is vanishing from the lake... Link, you did it!" Sheik's voice came from behind me.

"Excuse me, I'm too busy washing my mouth out. Actually, do you have any soap I could use to further wash out my mouth?"

"No...? Why?"

"I'm trying to get the taste of Ruto out of my mouth." I rinsed out my mouth a bit longer and then said, "By the way, Ruto wanted to thank you."

"I see... we'll have to return peace to Hyrule then."

"If she's staying in that temple as long as I don't save Hyrule, then I'm not saving Hyrule."

"... She'll probably stay there even after you save Hyrule..."

"Good. I don't want to see her ever again."

"I don't want to see her either," Dark said as he slurped out of my shadow.

"What is this monster doing here?!" Sheik demanded and pulled out a dagger.

"This is Dark. He's my friend," I said while rolling my eyes.

"Are you insane?! He could kill you!"

"I wouldn't kill him. Besides, he's to sweet, adorable, and lovable to kill; but I can't say the same about you," Dark said as he glared at Sheik.

"What do you have that I don't!"

"The ability to save him and pleasure him."

"Did you two do what I think you did."

"Yeah. He was begging for more." Dark smirked as Sheik and I turned beet red.

"A-a-and I can totally save him!" Sheik stuttered.

"Yeah, right. I highly doubt that, especially when you didn't save him in the Fire Temple."

"How do you know about that?"

"I was the one who saved him, unlike you."

"How can you say that? Do you have an proof."

"Well, EXCUUUUUUSE ME, Princess. The proof is standing with us right now." Dark and Sheik both turned towards me.

"Go on. Is it true?" Sheik prodded.

"I... uh..." I mumbled as I looked at the ground, "i-i-it's true... Dark saved me from the likelike..."

"But there is no way that you consented to his advances on you, right."

"H-h-he's really good... I like him..."

"Are you sure he didn't brainwash you?"

"Positive."

"Oh, dear goddesses..." Sheik sighed. With a full voice and a few steps back he said, "Monster, I will get back at you and destroy you so that the hero can, properly, continue his quest." He snapped the deku nut down and was gone after the light was gone.

"That motherfucking son of a bitch needs to see a goddamn psychiatrist," Dark growled.

"Agreed. I'll even say that he's a longshot off of being as mentally stable as I am."

"Did you make an item pun?"

"Yeah. Do you think that I should let Navi out of her bottle?"

"No. I don't want to deal with her."

"Can we turn her into a blue potion, now?"

"... I still have to find the ingredients..."

"... Fuck..."