Rant Poems

Side Of A Cliff

(This gets real really quick so um, enjoy a 300+ word rant)
(Was suppose to use this for my poetry slam team but maybe not...Also I don't like the ending for this)

I feel like I'm holding onto a side of a cliff,
Gripping harshly and clawing at the rocks and grass
Below me is a fog wall where I can't see through
The sound of static wind loops in my ear and head on repeat like a broken radio
Under my feet is still the cloud I can't see through
If I fall or misplace one part of me I'm finding out what's behind that cloud
No matter how hard I grip and tear at the cliff
I can only assume that under my hanging feet is my misery
My lungs breathe in the cloud infested with dirt particles contaminating me
Infesting me
Feeding off of what I have left control of.
Which is what?
I'm asking a moron who's body is dangling off the side of a cliff
Who no longer have control of nights spent crying
The time to figure something out
Who's energy is getting drained each second of every passing day
Relationships with people (Yea thats a tough one)
Consent, we have limit access to our own ideas and what we want now.
The scariest part of falling isn't the death, it's what if you survive?
It's not the fall that kills you.
It's whatever is there to catch you.
Words I hear everyday, or remember every moment.
Said by people close to me, in a mumble or a rumour.
They are now screaming at me, it's killing me to know what they're thinking. It's killing me to hang off this cliff of regret, pain, suffering, thoughts, ideas, my burden on others.
It's killing me and I can't live with it any longer!
So "get your hands dirty" or "work harder!"
"Stop being a child"
"Grow up"
"You need to work more, I don't see you working hard enough!"
"You need to eat more"
"Sleep more"
Do more
Do more
Do more.
Because whatever you choose to do.
It won't be enough.
Be more.
I have to be enough
Speak more
I can't be enough
What?? Speak louder! You barely talk!
I'm trying I'm trying ok
Come on, why won't you grow?
Have you been exercising? I can't tell.
She's not
She won't be
She can't
She was...
When was it that my opinions really matter though?
It's hard to tell when I'm an embodiment of how I let others think of me
I'm loud, energetic, and behaving yet calm and reliable.
But how can someone be all those things and suffer with their own doubts and feelings?
They argue with themselves everyday with every option.
...
"What a waste"
My arms are numb
I can't hold on anymore
I can't see
I can't comprehend what going to happen to me
Everything's planed.
Even while falling I can still hear the static in the air
Smell the gasoline in the fog
The chill that being forgotten might feel.
Abandonment, disparity.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry...
I sincerely apologize for my actions
I sincerely apologize for what events I may have caused,
I sincerely apologize on their behalf
I sincerely apologize...
I sincerely apologize for what?
I can't mean it if I don't know it.
Am I sorry for who you are?
No.
Am I being sorry for who I am?
No. Maybe. Yes.
But why am I feeling so compelled to apologize?
I can only be sorry,
I'm sorry.

🖤