30. Pangalan
Joe: Doc, lagi po ako nananaginip na feeling ko ako ang king.
Doc: Ano ba pangalan mo?
Joe: Joe po...
Doc: Hahaha, you must be JoeKING
31. Amoy
Juan: Balita ko cousin mo daw aso namen ah?
Pedro: Huh bakit?
Juan: Eh cousing Amoy mo sya e.
32. Q&A
Q: Sino ang walang damit sa mga bayani?
A: Edi si Andres Bonifacio
33. Tubig ka ba? Di kasi ako mabubuhay Pag wala ka.
34. Away Magshota
BF: Babe, para kang selecta, you're so yummy.
GF: Ikaw hon para kang crispy creme, you're so sweet.
BF: Hehe. Para kang Starbucks, so addictive.
GF: Para kang jollibee, langhap sarap.
BF: Haha. Para kang KFC street wise, so affordable.
GF: Haha. Para kang turo turo, slightly dirty.
BF: Para kang prito, oily.
GF: Para kang inihaw, maitim!
BF: Para kang Tuyo, parehas kayo nang amoy!
GF: Para kang paksiw, ang asim!
BF: Bagoong ka!
GF: Ikaw, buro!
BF: Panis ka!
GF: Bulok!
BF: Panget!
GF: Lalo ka na!
BF: Break na tayo!
GF: Buti pa!
35. I'm
Kid: Dad I'm hungry.
Dad: Nice to meet you hungry!
Kid: Dad, I'm serious...
Dad: I thought you were hungry?
Kid: Are you kidding?!
Dad: No I'm dad.
36. Sopas ka ba? Because when I see you, my heart is beating sopas.
37. Nadulas
Si satanas nadulas sa Sabog sabi nya:
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-
-
-
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Oh my god!
38. Yung basang-basa ka pagkatapos mong maligo tapos tatanungin ka nang: "Naligo ka na?" Ay hindi! Nalunod po ako sa toilet bowl. Lumangoy pa ako dun!
39. Mukhang masarap
A new dish has been submitted to the "Barrio Fiesta".
The dish is named: "Shrimped Snail"
In Tagalog: "Hinipong suso"
40. Singkit
Pag singkit na Maputi- CHINITO
Pag singkit na Maitim- PRINITO
41. Lesson in life #1:
Don't abuse someone's kindness, remember; even in every Angel, a demon hides.
42. Wag bilisan
Girl: Manong wag mo naman bilisan ang pagda-drive baka maaksidente tayo.
Driver: Kaya nga ako nagmamadali kasi baka maabutan tayo ng aksidente.
43. 3 lalaki
May Tatlong lalaki na nagpapagalingan sa pagpana.
Amerikano: (Pinana ang pakwan sa Ulo ng Babae sabay sabing) I'm Bruce Lee.
Chinese: (Pinana ang mansanas sa Ulo ng Babae sabay sabing) I'm chun Lee.
Pilipino: (Pinana ang piso sa Ulo ng Babae sabay sabing) I'm sorry.
44. Bakit ba porket walang itsura ang tao pinagtitripan nyo na? Wala ba kayong galang?? Kagaya lang ni mommy dionisia, ang dami daming nanlalait sa kanya. Kaya nga Merong word na "Mind your own business".
45. Pahiram lang
Rich kid: Sometimes if you work hard enough, you can get what you want...but most of the tines, what you want and what you get are two different things. Although you can have all you want and you can want all you have.
Poorkid: Tangina mo pahiram lang PSP eh.
46. Put together
Mam: Can anybody think of an english word that has the same meaning in Tagalog & English when put together?
Jose: Meron ba non mam?
Mam: Meron, CLEAN-LINESS
47. Bumbay+Japanese= Boompanese
American+Pinoy+Japanese= Amoypanese
Pinoy+Chinese= Pinese
YOU ARE READING
Da Best Of Master Battz Jokes 2
HumorHi guys. This is the part 2 of my very comedic book. You'll discover more funny Tagalog and English jokes to share with your friends/relatives/family/BF/GF/and more. Warning: This story contains: Themes, Strong language, Sex, that is not suitable fo...
