The Cancer Girl

Chapter 3

When I wake up in the morning, it's quiet other than the noises made by the machines most of the patients here are hooked up to. Most of the nurses are off and parents don't visit today so Spencer and I usually just hang out with some of our cancer friends.

I look over at the clock to see that it's 7:30 and someone should be around soon to wake me up. So I hit the button to tell them I'm already up.

"Hey. Spencer you awake?" I say hoping he is up and can hear me through the vent.

"Ehh yup." he didn't sound convincing but I was bored. I think today's a good day for poker.

"Wanna play some poker? We can get everyone together after breakfast."

"I'm on it."

I didn't have to wait long after that till I was called into his room. His room is like a mirror image of mine, with a few things hanging up on the wall that were different. There were chair around a small table. Everyone was already there, with their I.V. poles behind them, we have to take these things with us everywhere.

Mine was in my hand as I pushed it along on the hard, cold floor which was just the same pattern repeated. I got to my seat and I was ready, I had my bag of things to gamble off hung over my shoulder, which included blue headphones, a pink stuffed animal pig, and tooth paste that wasn't issued by this hospital.

It's Spencer and I vs. Louis and Rose vs. Tyler and Mark.

Louis and Rose are together, well in secret because your not allowed to date here. Only us six know. Louis has been here for one year and Rose has only been here for three years. They've been together for about six months and even their family doesn't know.

Louis has leukemia and he has been fighting for a while with the support of his Aunt and Uncle. Rose has breast cancer, which is rare because shes only 17 but she hasn't gotten worse in a while. she only has her big brother, mike. Rose and Louis both lost their parents when they were young.

Tyler and Mark Twain are twin brothers that both got diagnosed the same week. They both have lung cancer which is rare for their age but their parents smoke. Their parents never visit them, I'm sure if they feel guilty for giving their only family cancer or because they are just bad parents. I have only met them once and they weren't the nicest family i've met.

I guess I'm lucky in that way, my parents didn't cause my brain tumor and they visit me everyday. I also have Spencer, we share a lot of things, a brain tumor is just one of them.

These are my best friends and most of the reason I'm fighting so hard to live. I don't know why this happened to us but we are not about to let this ruin the rest of our lives, we are here to fight and here to live the rest of out lives.

I'm also here in Spencer's room to win a game of poker, which I honestly don't think we are playing right but Rose and Louis are in the lead and there is no arguing with that. I don't thinks it's fair they are on a team together because they practically can read each others faces but I guess that goes for all of us.

"Ready to had over the gum Tyler?" Rose says with extreme confidence and her nose scrunches up while laughing so hard.

"Don't get to set on winning," Spencer says but I think we all know he bluffing because we have nothing but of coarse I play along and raise the steaks by pushing my toothpaste into the middle of the table. Mark and Tyler give each other a look, which means they have a plan or they are folding. I hope folding because I don't want to lose my toothpaste. I give Spencer a look to but my look says 'you better have a plan'. We all flip over our card and move our eyes around to see if we won. disappointment spends across the room as everyone realizes that we won! Spencer and me take our winnings and split them, I'm just happy he didn't make me lose my tooth paste. "Ok boys and girls, who wants to play again?"

We play a few more rounds and I think everyone is done because everyone throws in their cards. "I'm not playing against you two again, this is the forth time in a row you have won." Tyler says with a smile but I don't think he is gonna play anymore today.

Rose and Louis hold their I.V.s in one hand and each others hand in the other, on their way out of Spencer's room. Tyler follows them making kissey faces, with Mark right behind them with a large grin.

After everyone leaves Spencer and I turn on the T.V. and lay down next to each other on a very small hospital bed made for one. It was almost lunch time so someone was gonna come in soon and kick me out but I don't care because I love my moments with him. We don't even need to say anything I just know what he would say and what I would say. Sometimes I think we are thinking about the same thing because we will both laugh at the same time. And Sundays were the best because we didn't need to worry about parent or Aunts and Uncles yelling at us. We could just be us and relax. Some times these are the moments where I forget where I am, I start t think about how much I can't wait for my life to happen, would it include Spencer? I wondered about my life if I wasn't were I am. I thought about how my life would be if I met Spencer some where else, like the movies, or a plane, even in aisle three at Wegmans.

I also wondered if Spencer and I both thought about that, like we did so many other things. Some times I almost wondered enough to ask. But than I would flash back into reality and realize where I was and how Spencer and I weren't gonna have that future.

That when Angel walks in with that look she gets that says, 'you know the rules,' and we did but the hospital was a place where we needed each other. Still I got up and left because I knew Angel would carry me out if I didn't get up.

On the short walk back Angel starts to open her mouth, than closes it again, as if deciding weather or not to say something. I give her a look that shows her I want to hear it.

"Darling, I'm your friend before nurse and that's why I'm gonna say this. You have had something special with that boy since the moment you saw him causing trouble, he has made your stay here better than what alot of people and your friends are lucky too." I felt a but coming on and I was worried for what was to come. "But you have to keep your distance and remember where you are and how your life is going. I just don't want either one of you to get hurt." There it was, the but. I could see the tears slowly start to leave her eyes and I know how much that hurt to say. I knew she was right but I couldn't pull away from him, I could only pull closer. But I nod anyways so she know I received the message.

I turn and go into my room and wait for lunch. When a nurse in all blue comes in to drop it off I say thanks and open my food. I wasn't hungry so I basically pull and pushed the food around on my plate with tears hitting the desk, creating a puddle. Than she came in to collect the plate and I looked out the window so she wouldn't notice I was crying.

I sat there for a few more minutes, just letting the tears roll off my checks. I realized Spencer might be able to hear me. "Spencer?" no responce. In few minutes I started to fall asleep and slowly start to fade back into the dream where we live happily ever after.