4 a.m. ☞ dt

1.9 - grayson

4 a.m.
1.9 - grayson
song for chapter: paradise by the neighbourhood

i approached charlie, who was making coffee in the kitchen. i hardly slept last night knowing that she and ethan were sleeping in the same bed after spending all night together getting drunk. it didn't help my paranoia that ethan wasn't only drunk, but also baked. it hardly surprised me that he was still smoking after all of this time. i could remember walking into our bedroom one night after studying at the library and seeing the smoke that smoldered our tiny sanctuary. i was a lot more disappointed then than i was now. he was messing with charlie, and that was definitely more suspicious than experimenting with weed.

"what's up with you and ethan?" i asked, watching her stir in creamer. she sighed, putting the spoon down and looking to me.

"seriously? i cant deal with your bombardment this early in the morning," she turned around, taking a sip of her fresh cup of joe. i felt uneasy and needed her to clear up everything the unusual events that took place last night. she couldn't have meant everything she said, right?

"yes, i'm serious, charlotte. what happened last night?"

"nothing. we slept in the same bed and threw up together at three. then when he woke up he left to work out details for his new job." she explained, twirling her hair nervously before taking a seat at the breakfast bar near me.

"what happened with my parents last night, grayson?"

it was easy to recognize that she was trying to mimic my words by using my entire name, which was annoying. but it was charlie. that's just something she would do to irritate me as equally as she had been irritated.

"you can't use that against me forever, charls. i was only trying to help you," i told her, sighing and slouching against the island. she sighs, taking a sip from her coffee and looking up from the bar.

"i know, gray, it's just too much for me to wrap my head around right now." why couldn't you just say that last night? i nodded, remaining quiet. intense silence filled the space, swallowing me up with guilt. i regretted saying what i did to her parents, but i couldn't take back the past.

"how did they take it?" she spoke up, looking to me for an answer.

"not well. we stayed up looking for you because we were worried. they thought you hated them." i told her truthfully. yes, initially her parents were upset that she hadn't told them hardly anything that was going on in her life, but they were more concerned that they didn't inquire enough.

"do they hate me?"

"of course not," i answered quickly. "they love you." i love you.

"are we looking at houses today?" i asked charlie after she had put her coffee cup in the dishwasher. she replied without looking at me.

"if you want to."

"i do want to," i told her, taking her hand and giving a reassuring smile, "i don't want yesterday to come between us and make you change your mind." she removed her hand from my grasp, eyeing me suspiciously.

"so you want to pressure me into buying a house with you now so you don't lose me tomorrow?"  she crossed her arms, locking eyes with me. fuck.