4 a.m. ☞ dt

2.6 - charlotte

4 a.m.
2.6 - charlotte

a few days have passed from the conversation grayson and i had walking home from safeway. everything betweened us seemed to be back to normal, whatever that non-romantic normal between us was. it's possible that that wasn't a normal state at all that the two of us shared, speaking that the intimate tension had always been there. everything did feel right, it felt like this might have been the way things were meant to be. grayson and i were still close, we still had a special relationship, but i saved all of the affection for ethan. that was the person i wanted to be with, finally after figuring all of this out. it was such a relief that i maintained a friendship with grayson while also being involved with ethan, although gray had feelings for me. i was confident they had to fade soon, we weren't together, or whatever we were, for very long. when his feelings vanished, that's when everything would truly be perfect.

things had been moving steadily between ethan and i, even though he hadn't asked me to be his girlfriend yet. i suppose that was fine for me right now. he and i had been spending time together, but both of our jobs had kept us from seeing each other as much as we would've liked to. it seemed that with each passing day everything was becoming more comfortable between both of the boys and i. gray and i had lunch together almost every day. our managers were very accommodating after realizing how close we were, so they gave us an hour of lunch to share. that was a chunk of time that he and i have together every day, because i spend a lot of free time with ethan, and grayson and i cut our gym visits to three times a week instead of every day due to our varying schedules. i'd spend the night at e's probably once or twice a week, but i'd always be sure to ask grayson if he wanted to do something instead. i don't want him to be left out. all of this had already been so straining on our relationship, and i didn't want to raise tensions any higher when it came to ethan and i being romantically involved.

my shift had just ended, and as unusual as it was, grayson wasn't working tonight. ethan texted me around ten minutes ago to let me know he was on his way to come get me. he didn't like when i walked home alone because of the area being a little shady. i thought it was sweet that he would drive over here just to keep me from walking by myself. he said that when gray and i walked home together, he felt better about it because i was with someone who could take care of me. whatever that means. i had been getting stronger from going to the gym with grayson. i wasn't weak anymore, mentally or physically, and that was something that i took pride in. ethan wouldn't understand that, so i don't try to make him. he's always been stronger, had more initiative, and a bigger ego than i have. and that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. we were just different. grayson and i were pretty similar in many, many ways, which is probably the reason we will stay better off as friends. ethan is almost the total opposite of me, but as people say, "opposites attract."

a vibration in my hand snapped me out of my train of thought. i looked down to my phone to see a text message from ethan. come outside, baby. i smiled at my phone and put it in my back pocket. i zipped my rain jacket up and pulled the hood over my head before heading outside to find ethan waiting in his car. i sent a cheeky grin and sprinted to the sleek BMW. i pulled the handle to the car, but it didn't open. ethan laughed in the car as i continued to pull at the handle and tap on the window. finally, the car clicked to unlock and i dove into the passenger seat. i looked plainly at the boy and pouted.

"that was rude."

ethan laughed in response and pulled me in with his arm. he gave me a kiss on the cheek to which i rolled my eyes and pulled back to buckle my seatbelt. he pulled out of the parking lot swiftly before placing his right hand on my thigh. he grabbed my hand and kissed it after looking over to me and then back to the street.

"i missed you," he said gently, placing his hand back on my thigh. the gesture left me with a giddy feeling inside that i couldn't calm down. it was like my first time on a roller coaster, the butterflies fluttering in my belly as the cars escalated to the top.

"i missed you, too, e," i replied, rubbing the pad of my thumb over his knuckles, back and forth. back and forth. i missed him much more than i'd care to admit, and i had only seen him two nights ago. the last few days had been reserved for work and his brother, despite how weird the sentence sounded coming out.

the sky was dark but the moon shone brightly. aside from the moon, there was always the scattered buildings across the skyline. no matter where you looked, there would always be a tall skyscraper in sight. of course, driving back to ethan's house, it was all away from the center-of-seattle scene, but it was beautiful nonetheless. the heat inside the coupe was comforting at this time of year. it seemed it never got warm in the pacific northwest until june. i couldn't hardly tell, because all i could focus on was the heat of ethan's hand on the rip of my jeans.

the drive was comfortably quiet, a little small talk here and there. that seemed to be the theme of a lot of time i spent with ethan, but i didn't mind. with all the chaos i had been through it was nice to have a few moments of peace with the boy i care about. i knew that everything was going to be okay, and i must've come all of this way, fought this uphill battle, just so that right now i could peek at what the tip of the mountain looks like. losing my sister and fighting with xavier must've led to this, right? this life has become much harder than i had ever anticipated, but it had to have been for this one moment. driving in the car with ethan dolan on a rainy night in march. it wasn't much, but it was the best i've had lately. it was enough for me.

a/n

please don't hate me

I DONT HAVE ANY EXCUSE OTHER THAN I WASNT INSPIRED AND IVE BEEN BUSY AND ITS BEEN HARD

JUST THE USUAL SHIT

i know y'all are mad at charlie and ethan which means you're mad at me because i creates them BUT TRUST ME

.... u don't wanna be an ethan girl. ur doing great sweetie.

thas all i'm sayin on that note *tongue click* OKAY I REALLY WILL BE UPDATING REGULARLY NOW I FOUND INSPIRATION AND I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE IM GOING WITH EVERYTHING ILL SET ALARMS TO MAKE SURE I UPDATE

okie i love u babies
i really do thank you so much for having some faith even though it's been so so long
things r changing. i hope u all are doing so well. tell me how u are!!! what can i do to help???

i love u. thank you.
chlo .xx