4 a.m. ☞ dt

1.4 - grayson

4 a.m.
1.4 - grayson

i banged on the door to my brothers rental house, angrily shouting his name. this had gone way too far. he had gotten everything and now he had to take my girl, too? "ethan!"

he opened the door with a lazy grin on his face. his arm rested on the door frame, glaring at me. "it's midnight, what do you want?"

i scoffed.

"why did you lie to her?" i snapped. he smirked, crossing his arms against his chest. he remained silent; expectant. he knew that i knew. she wouldn't ever trust him over me. i cant believe he thought she would.

i walked into the motel room with charlie's shake in hand. the slam of the door startled her, but the sight before me had the same effect for me. charlie was clutching my notebook and she looked like a deer in headlights. her mouth dropped open and she began to back away. "i- uh, i- grayson..."

i set the milkshake on the table beside the door and inched towards her. "what are you doing?"

i was worried that she had seen my feelings. that she knew before i even had the chance to tell her. i was afraid that she'd feel unhappy or unsafe with me because of the words i had written in the past. i used to be weak. i used to be a sad, scared little boy.

now she looked like my past persona. scared and defenseless. she backed away from me. "what's wrong, charlie? i know. i'm sorry i didn't tell you sooner, i was just waiting for the right time."

"who's aria, grayson?" she whispered.

"what are you talking about?"

"i said, who is aria?" charlie said louder, a tear rolling down the side of her face. my heart broke at the sight. i didn't understand. i don't know an aria. i've never known an aria. well, except aria apple from north central, but she and i only had english three together. i'd never really spoken to her, or even knew her.

"i don't know what you're talking about." i said more like a question than a sentence. where was she getting all of this nonsense?

"aria! your girlfriend before me! the girl you loved so much that you obsessed over her. she was so terrified that she left you." she exclaimed, throwing her hands into the air. she was breathing heavily, like another panic attack was about to hit her. i grabbed the inhaler from its place on the bed and handed it to her.

"baby, i have no idea what you're talking about. i've never had a girlfriend before you. you're the only person i've loved." i said, still remaining calm. my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. my notebook ever said any of that, is only ever talked about my depression, mom, dad and charlie. those were the only things worth mentioning.

tears streamed down her face. she shook her head in confusion. "but ethan said..."

"why did you lie to her?" i repeated, shouting in his face. he rolled his eyes.

"about what?" he said cockily. i pushed him back into his place, following him inside. it was nice, as expected. he always saw the glamour that i never got to see. i lived in a shack on monroe and he lived in the country manor with my aunt in tacoma.

"i've never even had a girlfriend before! why did you make up those lies? how did you even know about my notebook?"

"i know everything about you, grayson. you're my twin brother." he snarked. his words were placed oh so temptingly, but i wouldn't fight him. i haven't fought anyone in my life. i've never been good enough. against ethan i'd never win. he was always stronger, better. and it only made me angrier.

"charlotte deserves better than a bully victim. she deserves better than the cashier at safeway." he cooed, trying to make me succumb to him. to be weak. but never again, never again would i be weak. not for charlie. not for myself. loving charlotte wasn't only a feeing i craved, it's what made me who i am today. meeting her led to my reprisal. maybe i could finally stoop up to ethan.

i grabbed him again by the collar of his t-shirt, this time with more force. i pushed him against his brick accent wall hard enough to scare him, but not to hit his head. worry flashed through his eyes but he kept his composure. but i knew him better. he was my twin brother.

"if you ever try to fuck things up for me again i'll be sure to do a hundred times worse. you are the one who's worthless. not me," i snarled through gritted teeth. my tight grip on his shirt loosened, but my glare remained focused on his eyes.

his eyes. my eyes. his eyes were my eyes. i was him once. fearful of my brother, watching my life go by painfully. i knew as he looked into my own hazel eyes that he'd see the same fury that he had once. i hoped that he realized after he had tortured me with hurtful slurs that he was the one who was actually all of those things. he wasn't ever better than me. maybe before mom died and he bullied me. maybe before he left. but since then, his soul has been dead.

a/n

hmmmmmmmm

kinda long

kinda short

idK

vote if u liked it i really appreciate it, thank u for getting me to #5 on the graydolan tAg

i love u

chlo .xx