Writings of a not so typical teenage girl

2

So, I guess I'll start where my life gets a little interesting.

I didn't think much of it, because it was so subtle.

It was the beginning of May, and I was at the mall with my mom. I noticed that here and there I repeated a word. I brushed it off, everyone has a hard time getting their words out sometimes right?

The next day, I'm occasionally stumbling on words, specifically the consonants in them. It was freaking me out. I've never had any problems talking, even as a kid.

My instinct is to tell Lila. She's one of my closest friends who I can trust with anything. I'll get into our story, but that deserve it's own entry.
That night, as we were texting, I brought it up to her.

"Have you ever had a problem stuttering?" I ask.

"No,"she responds, "why?"

I told her what's been happening.

"That's weird. Maybe you should read things out loud? You know so maybe you could find a pattern or something,"she said.

So, I did as she suggested and kept her updated on when I stuttered.
The thing is, the more I read the more frequent the stutter became. If I stuttered once out of a paragraph of what I read, it gradually became every few sentences and so on.

I hoped the increase of it was because it was late, and I was getting tired. So, I went to bed.

I wake up and I'm full on stuttering.

On almost every consonant of every word, my voice is getting stuck, like a broken record.

I can't control it.

I'm sent into a panic. I have no idea what's going on and what to do about it.

I know I would inevitably have to talk to my family, but I'm not ready. I run into the guest room and sit on the floor crying my eyes out.

Eventually, I got the courage to walk out of the room. I found my mom, and I can't even remember what she said; I just remember how it felt to open my mouth. As I answered what she told me, I hoped that somehow my words would come out normally.

They didn't.

"Are you faking that," was her reaction.

The way she said it sounded more like a statement than a question.

I could feel the tears coming to my eyes again and my panic rising.

"I'm-m-m  I'm-m-m  not-t-t. I  c-c-c-can't-t  help-p-p-p  it-t-t-t." I try to get out.

The rest of the conversation is a blur to me.

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