Writings of a not so typical teenage girl

7

Here's where we return to where my story started.

Leading up to May, I was continually tortured by my own mind. There would be times I felt some relief, but it always vanished. The darkness consumed me more every time it returned. If it wasn't for Lila giving me something to care about, I would have completely fallen into the abyss.

On May 8, everything was caving in on me, I felt like I couldn't go on like this. I spent most of the day in my room crying, and Lila was trying to help me calm down.

At some point, she told me to grab something. I did as she said, and clutched my pillow in one hand. She then told me what I was grabbing was her hand. To this day I find myself grabbing for her "hand" when I need to feel her presence.

Eventually, I had to wipe my tears away and put on my mask of normalcy. I went to the mall with my mom despite how I was doing, and that's when the first signs of stuttering appeared.

So, now that I've revealed what lead up to my stutter, I can admit to you I wasn't as shocked by it as everyone else. Sure, it surprised me, but the question of why wasn't so puzzling.

Because of my stutter, my parents decided it was time to get me some help. Sounds great, right? Well, turns out what they thought of as help was taking me to a chiropractor.

Apparently, he wasn't just a chiropractor, he also specialized in helping you over come unreleased emotions. If you couldn't guess, it didn't work. I wasn't any better from it. After about a month of trying him, my parents finally took me to a psychiatrist.

When I started seeing the psychiatrist it was some time in August. I was put on Zoloft for anxiety and depression. Outwardly, it helped me look like I was better. Inwardly, it felt like it just mixed with my depression. What I mean is, it felt like it was just numbing me.

September came and I had something to look forward to, my sixteenth birthday. No, it's not because I wanted my license. In fact, I hated driving and I still do. I was simply excited because it was my birthday.

My birthday itself was great, but little did I know what sixteen had in store for me.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

If you did please consider voting and possibly leaving a comment 💜

If you don't follow me I came out (just on here) and I can't thank y'all enough for the support I've received.

I'm going to try to update weekly so until next time 💕