Writings of a not so typical teenage girl

4

So, fast forward about a month from when my stutter started, and it still hasn't gone away.  The idea it would leave quickly like it came seemed more and more unlikely to me. Nevertheless, they kept telling me it would.

I had a routine check up at the doctor's office, and we ended up discussing my stutter (shocker I know). The way my stutter sounded made him believe it wasn't from any sort of head damage or a tumor. He said it could be a result of anxiety, and it would possibly go away in around six to eight months.

So, now I'll make it clear that yes, I have anxiety. Not like your everyday "I'm nervous" type of anxiety, I mean the disorder. I've struggled with it since I was around eight years old. I would get horrible panic attacks all the time. A lot of the time they caused me to cry and hyperventilate. It was to the point I stopped spending the night at friends' or my grandparents' house. I'd have panic attacks at church, and I would have to go outside with my dad to calm down.

At least out of the kids I knew, I was the only one who dealt with something like that. In some ways, it felt like it took some of my childhood away. I no longer had the carefree feeling other kids may have had. When the anxiety came, it felt like the world was crashing down on me. I was young, I didn't know how to handle it, so I had to learn.

Overtime, I started to push through it until it gradually got easier. I'm not trying to make it sound like a movie montage, you know when the hero trains for like a minute and is suddenly a ninja. Believe me, it was nothing like that.

Now my family knows that I've dealt with anxiety, and they were fine with attributing the stutter to it. What they weren't so eager to listen to is when I admitted to feeling depressed.

So, for the most part they ignored what I said about depression, and they focused on my anxiety.

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What are your thoughts on what's happening with Lanier?