At home, the bath was his safe place.
When his siblings got too chaotic, when his mom decided to have another bottle of wine, when he had gotten another failed grade (especially in history, it had already happened! Why learn about dead people?), and especially when he wanted to use the silver square that was packed away in a necklace bag inside a box his grandmother had given him five years ago, under masses of old drawings and books.
But in space?
There were no spaces for baths. And besides, only Allura had one. Why should he deserve the luxury of a princesses room?
Exactly.
He didn't.
So instead, Lance took comfort in that silver square that was now in a secret pocket in his jacket, which had been long forgotten in the corner of his room. Wait, scratch that, the room he slept in. It was not his room.
His room was on Earth, with glow-in-the-dark stars and posters that featured old cartoons and bands that had long broken up. His room had clothes everywhere and didn't have the lingering smell of metal or blood, or even the odd smell of food goo that stayed everywhere.
Lance sighed. He rested his head on the wall of the showers that the team shared, thankfully alone. Allura never did understand why they wanted privacy.
"Paladins of Voltron should use every instance to bond as teammates! The old paladins barely spent any time apart- oh you would love how they-blah blah blah."
Lance stared down at himself. Water trickled down his face, and he pushed his hair out of the way and stood up straight.
Don't look. He told himself.
You know it'll end up bad, he thought.
Instead of listening, he stared down at his body.
Red lines and lack of muscle stared up at him, almost mockingly it seemed. He nearly sobbed and stared at the ceiling again, gripping the sides of his stomach.
He heard shifting behind him and turned around.
"O-oh hey Hunk! Sorry, I'll be out in a bit, just getting all the shampoo out, ya know?"
Hunk stared at him oddly. "Uh huh. Okay, Lance..."
Hunk left after glancing concerningly for a few seconds, then shut the door softly. Lance let out a breath he didn't know he was holding after the door had shut fully. Hot tears rushed out all at once, and Lance wiped them and turned off the shower.
-- training --
Allura observed all of them in an oddly cheery way, almost suspiciously.
"All right everyone! Because we did defense and agility practice, today we're doing team bonding! Coran and I have noticed that a few of you," She glanced at Lance and Keith specifically, then continued: "have been slacking on getting along. However, we also decided to do something fun!" She motioned to the headsets in her hands. "These will keep you from lying! I will be monitoring to make sure none of you ask anything uncalled for." She looked at Keith and Lance again.
Lance crossed his arms but kept his face blank from anything negative, unlike the scowl that lined Keith's lips. Lance tried not to look at them.
"Any objections?" She didn't wait for the team to say anything before she continued. "Good! Now put these on. We will go in turns for asking questions. Pidge, you can ask first."
"Lance! I know you stole my headphones. Where are they."
He sighed, and his mouth ran before he could stop it. "In Hunk's room under his pillow."
Hunk stared at him. "Really dude? Why my room of all places?!"
Allura spoke up. "It's Shiro's turn now!" Hunk just grumbled jokingly.
As they went around the group, questions got more personal and Lance got more scared.
What if they found out about my
anxiety
depression
cuts
body issues
self-esteem?
None of them would ever let it go.
What if they thought I was crazy?
What if they made me leave blue?
What if they made me leave them team?
"Lance?" Keith asked to my right. "You alright?"
I went to say yes but the word "no" leaped out of my mouth quicker than I could cover it.
I slowly took off the headband, and used it as an excuse: "I think this thing is giving me a headache. Is it okay if I go lay down?" I glanced at Allura, praying to whatever space being for her to believe me.
She sighed. "I guess so. Try to join us before lunch." I nodded and rushed out of the room, heart racing.
