Y O U T H
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I didn't want to believe it.
Even when it was right in front of my face, I didn't want to see the truth and closed my eyes tight. That you're with her, that we couldn't ever be an 'us' -
That I'd fallen in love with someone who couldn't fall back for me.
For now I want to keep loving you, stubborn. So I tightened ignorance around my eyes like a blindfold and wore my bleeding heart on my sleeves and hoped you'd come back to me.
That afternoon I couldn't do anything at all.
My mind was a mess, cassette tapes in a tangle, and they all played a scene of you and the girl hugging each other close underneath the trees - where once you had kissed me gentle when we were young.
It almost felt ironic, in a way.
Dad wasn't home - he never was, not when it mattered. In the emptiness of my room, I was the loneliest I'd been.
I kept sneaking glances at your house, but you weren't there. We'd always rode the bus together back and forth for years now, and I thought you'd find me when I went home earlier than you did. But there were no signs from you - and no texts sent nor stones thrown against my window too.
The sea was in my lungs - the weight of missing you weighed me down.
And you didn't even notice my absence at all.
Anxiety caught at my edges, and I nearly burst apart to pieces. I hated it. I hated how fragile I could be, and I hated how much I needed you.
Heartbreak felt shimmering summer hot, even if Seoul was still coated in springtime. It's glass edges scratching my skin, it's prickly tears kissing my lashes.
I hurt in all the broken places you'd once touched.
And yet, when my phone lit up with a call, it was almost sad how quickly I rushed to pick it up.
"Jimin?" I breathlessly uttered, and hope was a desperate pulse in my veins. I wanted it to be you.
I wanted to be longed by you.
But the voice that rung through wasn't yours. It's slightly deeper, holds a hint of Busan pattern in its syllables. "Sorry to disappoint," Jungkook quipped.
Something in his voice sounded a bit disappointed, though.
"I- sorry," I tried to ignore my own disappointment settling down my stomach, and settled on my floor with a thump, "I was waiting for Jimin to call. For, uh, homework. He's coming over to ask for my help, but he hasn't gone home yet."
The lie rolled off my tongue before I could think about it. I wasn't sure why, but admitting that I was searching for a sign that you miss me because I love you when you didn't reciprocate - that was too much to share, especially to Jungkook.
YOU ARE READING
Unrequited || Jimin
Fanfiction❝ and so i loved you like the moon loved the sea; but sadly your heart never came to me. ❞ ✺✺✺ wherein a girl falls in love with her best friend, park jimin, who does not love her back. [a pjm short story ©springbts 2018] || highest ranking: #396 i...