sign {h.s.}

chapitre vingt-trois*

"ARE YOU SURE?" The words that come out of my mouth following Lana's proposition are sheepish, embarrassed. Still not fully recovered. "I mean, last time we went to a party together—"

"Didn't end the best," Lana finishes the sentence for me, silently reminding me that she, too, hasn't forgotten. A new wave of embarrassment tingles across my skin. "But, everyone has their night. I am not going to hold you to that for the rest of your life."

A long, grateful sigh parts from my lips. "So, it's just a Halloween party?"

"There's nothing 'just' about a Halloween party," she responds, placing amused quotes around the words. "But for the sake of your question, sure, it's a Halloween party. No different than any other just... in a costume."

I chew down on my lip. I've never been much of a fan of Halloween. Dressing up was never my forte and, until recently, I've never considered myself enough of a partier to enjoy those aspects of the end of October.

Still, there's a voice in the back of my head begging for me to enjoy the night—enjoy something outside of my typical comfort zone. So, I heave out a long sigh. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm in. Send me the details."

"Perfect!" Lana agrees immediately, absolutely pleased with my response. "Invite whoever you want. It's going to be a big one." She doesn't even give me the time to respond before she is clicking off of the call. It's only Friday night—the beginning of Halloweekend, as it were. If tonight is going to be a big one, I can only imagine what the rest of the weekend has in store for me.

I turn to Lola, then. She is cuddled up in bed with a television show on. Her eyes avidly dart across the screen, following along with the blocky subtitles. I wave to demand her attention momentarily and she looks up at me, pausing the show so she doesn't miss a second of it. "Do you have plans tonight?" I ask her, brokenly signing along with what I know how to say. She shakes her head: no. "Do you want to go to a party?"

"Maybe," she shrugs her shoulders, not committing to it one way or the other, signing all the while. "I will talk to my friends."

"They can come too!" I immediately amend, eager to ensure that she feels included. As well as we get along, we aren't necessarily the type to intermingle our groups; something that I am actively hoping to change.

"Thank you," she signs to me, obviously noticing the extra effort that I've put into making her comfortable. She dips her hand down from her chin, the sign familiar to me. I give her a nod and a smile as I head over to my closet.

Considering my general distaste towards the holiday, I'm not the type of girl who has any number of costumes situated in her closet on the ready. For the first time in my life, I find myself wanting to be that girl—something heightened as I continue to look at the clothes in my closet that are utterly impossible to be converted into some cheap version of a half-assed DIY costume. "Jesus," I hiss to myself, deeply dissatisfied with the options appearing to me.

With a sigh, I retreat into the main area of the dorm, back into Lola's view. She looks at me as I grab my keys off the desk. Informing her that I plan to get a costume store, she nods her head as she returns her focus back to her show. With my keys, phone, and wallet in hand, I head out of the dorm and towards my car as quickly as possible. Already, I'm cutting it close. Not having planned anything for the occasion, I doubt that there will be a wide selection to choose from. Though, it's hard to say. Considering that Amherst is such a big college town, they're likely to stock in some extra for all of the students who will be flocking to the store last minute. Like me.

Paula, my car, is sitting exactly where I left her. Unlocking the doors, I slide into the drivers seat and slip the keys into the ignition. Turning them quickly, my heart drops at the sputtering sound that comes from her. Trying once more, the car fails to start again.