sign {h.s.}

epílogo : segundo de cinco

n. bring the tissues baby

T W O Y E A R S L A T E R

"Are we sure this is a good idea?" I say teasingly, my hand wrapped in Harry's as we exit the airplane. People all around us are speaking in rapid French. While Harry is present in our conversation, I can tell from the way that his head is cocked, he is also listening to the passing conversations of other's as well. Since the beginning of his program—since we began traveling together—I have learned he has an infatuation with eavesdropping. Embarrassing as it is, his favorite thing to do is to tell people off when they insult us as "American tourists." Frequently, Harry reminds them that he is not from America; however much of a white lie that may be.

Fortunately, Harry laughs at the joke. I wasn't entirely certain whether or not he would find it funny, but I am glad he laughs. Tenderly, he raises our intertwined fingers to his lips and presses a kiss to the back of my hand, "I think we'll be okay," he admits confidently as he guides us towards the baggage claim. "Not to mention, I think it is a little bit late for second thoughts, now."

"That's true," I admit, cuddling myself into his side as we wait for the baggage to begin to rotate. His arms are wrapped around my shoulders as he hugs me tightly into his chest. Absentmindedly, he presses lazy kisses against the top of my head. Instinctually, the two of us are infinitely more affectionate in public whilst in Europe than in the United States.

Since our initial trip to Paris, I have not returned. While I do credit our relationship to be stronger than ever, I did firmly believe that there was some bad juju there. But, once Harry finally admitted that he sold the apartment that he had shared with Mila, I felt that something in me changed. Not precisely in me, but it did feel as though there had been a tangible shift in our relationship. Mila is a permanent fixture in our lives and in our relationship—after all he did name his program after her. But, little by little, I can sense him moving on from her. No longer is she as present in our relationship as she had been, once.

Honestly, this time, Harry rented us a hotel room. A joke, at the point in which this trip was planned, he insisted that he would do this as proof he didn't have a second estate with Mila. Whilst I knew he was being honest, I did appreciate the added effort of attempting to secure my certainty. 

Three years is a long time to be with someone. 

In three years, we've developed and grown in ways I never thought for myself. Little by little, I have learned more languages. I am nearly fluent in sign language, now, and I frequently enjoy FaceTiming his sister to indulge her in the stories of our travels. As well, I am getting better in my Italian. I have a great tutor, I'll admit. Not to mention, his reward system is exceptionally motivational.

He has grown as well. He is more honest with me, more thoughtful in his communication and more vocal in the relationship. Not to mention, he is more willing to allow me to pay for things. At least, he was. In the past year or so, we agreed that operating under separate spheres—even after we have been living together for nearly two and a half years—was a bit redundant. Our bank accounts are joined and our finances are one in the same. 

In all ways aside from title, we act as though we are married. He feels like my husband, and it is more than I could have ever asked for. I never knew I could be so happy with someone. Our relationship does not feel like the compromise I had assumed. I assumed I would be infinitely unhappy with him—permanently wanting more from him. Maybe some day I will want more. But, now, I am happy in the bubble we have created for ourselves. Time and time again, he has proved to me that there is more than titles. Together, as we travel the world and watch as children are given the experience to live in different places—children who otherwise would not have had this opportunity—and embrace different cultures, I am reminded every day of how much I love the man I am doing this with.